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Comments for 'The Enemy Within-Chapter Seven: Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down'



Jenkins
6:39 pm | May 15, 2004
Pure art dude!! I can't say this enough: You are one descriptive kid. Those fight scenes were so gore-filled, it made me hungry. Speaking of which...

...can't a kid with a tentacled hand get a sandwich around here?!

Dammit Jenkins Fire Your Weapon!!!
Mind_Affecting_Parasite
1:44 pm | April 23, 2004
*spoilers* (for my story at least)

Hey Burny and Connie, thx for you comments.

To Connie: ah...hate to ruin the surprise, but who said Sam died?

-MAP
Connie
9:16 pm | April 21, 2004
I agree with Burny. That was incredible. Especially when Samntha died. Damn you're good at describing savage violence! Definitely keep on writing.
Burny
8:35 pm | April 13, 2004
Holy friggin hell of a Jesus raping man...this tory so far is awesome as hell, dude. It ranks up among my top three fiction stories at number 2.

1. "The Mis-Adventures of Master Chief" el_halo_diablo
2. "The Enemy Within" Mind_Affecting_Parasite
3. "Halo 2: The Forerunner Chronicle" Velker

I hope you've submitted something since you last submitted this. I can't fucking wait.

10/10
Mind_Affecting_Parasite
7:33 pm | April 10, 2004
To MasterGrunt: yup, you have ta love those Flood forms. I like writing about riping them up personally, or having them rip people up.
"Holy crap I ----ed the girl" (please put word in there, but be careful what word oyu choose)
Oh and MG, don't worry, I'll get some more Grunty goodness in there soon enough.

-MAP
MasterGrunt
9:39 pm | April 9, 2004
Nice story, keep'em coming like those flood forms.
Mind_Affecting_Parasite
7:39 pm | April 7, 2004
Arggg...

"...you KNOW..."

-MAP
Mind_Affecting_Parasite
7:39 pm | April 7, 2004
Thx...again!

Well, you no CoLd. Just aspiring to fill peoples pants with warmth. Ah...

-MAP
CoLd BlooDed
1:50 pm | April 7, 2004
Sorry I didn't read this before, my schedule has also been packed... rugby, school, homework, writing my own stories, etc.

Anyways, I loved this one, the use of words is fantastic and it brings enough excitement to want to keep you reading. Great job, keep it up.
Mind_Affecting_Parasite
10:48 pm | April 6, 2004
Thx guys...now let's see more...

To Ross: Thanks. I actually didn't really think about it when I posted. I just came up with it off the top of my head. Something my subconcious threw at me and I immidiately thought: "hey, that works, why not?
Well it turned out, that the title was very, very relevent:
First of all: I found that, well, ashes just seems to go with the feel of this chapter
Second: well, you know, darn that World History from last semester, but: the Black Plague. That's where the song "ashes, ashes, we all fall down" came from. Seeing as the Plague was a disease, or I think a virus, it kinda goes with the whole: the Flood are taking over and kicking people around, theme.

Darn my randomly spawned rambling sessions...

-MAP
MC's Cousin
7:32 pm | April 6, 2004
Well, I'm not one for short comments. So-
-I noticed a few mistakes. Minimal spelling errors, which can be found in almost all FFs here at HBO, and to be expected and ignored. I also noticed that you said a "purple" shield came in to place over the openings. Their not blue, at least from what I have seen. They are; however, blue arounf the edges, they get more clear than purple in the center.
But, those were no biggies. Good work, best make sure you keep it up.

Signing Off


MCC
Ross Becalick
5:18 pm | April 6, 2004
Blistering stuff, and the title was clever.
Reiyou
12:07 am | April 6, 2004
Wow. 'Nuff Said
Spartan81388
10:19 pm | April 5, 2004
Great Story, Keep up the good work.
Wiley
2:24 pm | April 5, 2004
Great job.
9.7/10


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