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Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Death Valley (Part 2)'



CoLd BlooDed
4:06 am | April 10, 2004
You are correct in a way, but the swords aren't "destroyed" when they snap off. That's just the fail-safes activating, it says in the books.

You're completely right about the Desert Eagles and shit being out of date.
Big Kitty
1:37 am | April 10, 2004
Very good story. But there is no such thing as a ML24 or whatever you called it, a Dasert Eagle, or a PSG-1... damn in the year 2500's those are out of date by centuries. And Elites don't have plasma daggers (correct me if im wrong), they have plasma swords that are destroyed after they die.
hi
11:13 am | April 9, 2004
its very good
hi
11:13 am | April 9, 2004
actually i take that back, that was that best story i have ever read, so deatailed and descriptive, and I dont know what teemus is talking about because I read his fan fics and they SUCK! Keep it up!
CoLd BlooDed
1:48 am | April 9, 2004
Shut up hi, you n00b. This was a good story, but it wasn't the best, and could've used more descriptions (although I liked the ones you used).

I just have to say learn the code, there's a manual right above the spot where you submit it that tells you how.

Apart from the several Halo-related mistakes (Elites having daggers, plasma grenades being green, plasma being bullets, etc.) it was decent. I suggest you take more time developing your character and create an appropriate atmosphere/mood for the current event. Take my advice, and you should get better. Good luck.
teemus
5:20 pm | April 5, 2004
You could of used the code as well. I spotted about one mistake. Plasma grenades are blue, not green. I also dont think Elites have daggers, but maybe im wrong. Your first one was better.

4/10
teemus
5:20 pm | April 5, 2004
But then again, it was better then my first Fan Fic, dont worry, youll get bettter.
Justin Key
3:02 pm | April 5, 2004
Gosh, I messed up with the spacing. I copied and pasted from my word document and I guess the spacing didn't carry over. I'm sorry people. Please read anyway


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