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Dave Luck
12:14 am | June 21, 2004
Holy Crap!
It's too late for abortion. I'm voting Steven Harper so he can reinstate Capital Punishment - ON YOU!!!
How tasteless can your writing get? I mean, you don't even use proper grammar, it's repetitive, and........ Oooh! Words can't describe the total dessication of the English language! You, Dean, have defiled Halo, scarring it to the very core of its being!
I don't care who's reading this. One of my friends, who will remain anonymous, barely speaks any English at all, yet he carefully sits on each word with a dictionary (yes, it's a paper dictionary), and a spellchecker. He can't even carry a conversation without checking his pocket dictionary every time he says something back, and he'll write so well you'd think it was written by Robert Ludlum!
There is only one use for this Fanfic. Had I found this peice of -blam- a little while ago, I could have saved myself a whole tank of Acetaline, Oxygen, and Argon Gas for the welders! I wouldn't even NEED to use fuel! The Flames on this are enough to fuse metal! Heck, it'd be cool if I didn't need to keep replacing the welding electrode on the Arcwelder.
Seriously, when I'm old, I'm going to tell my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren this story...
"Once upon a time, when I was young, I heard of a Fan fiction story on Bungie.org that was so wicked that it turned its readers to stone. It was written by someone who needed a serious kick in the -blam- and got one. And everyone else who did not see the story lived happily ever after.
- The END."
Aw, isn't that sweet! I think not!
You'd better improve your pathetic writing skills. If you can't, you'll be a great test subject. I got a dissection kit for my birthday. I always did love science class. Oh, and if that isn't enough, I can borrow my teacher's reciprocating saw.
- Dave.
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Te Gay
9:43 pm | June 9, 2004
ur ur gay
and u sucked my cock yeas-ter-day ta-na-na
ur ur gay
and i'll rape u today
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ummumm
10:42 pm | June 2, 2004
Here's a little fan fiction:
Once upon a time there was a little boy named dean,that was a nOOb and a cock sucker.
He said to himself"lets do a stupid story about halo"
Then he gave his computer to his dog and said to him:
"write a story about halo"
So the dog wrote a stupid story and sent it to HBO.
Everione that readed his story puked and the hospitals got overloaded with sick ppl.
The next week after the story was posted Covenanat arrived to earth and said
"look the poor ppl.they have to read crap like this!let's kill'em for pitty"
Moral:if u're an asshole,a nOOb or a 6 year old boy don't post anything on HBO
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ummumm
10:42 pm | June 2, 2004
Here's a little fan fiction:
Once upon a time there was a little boy named dean,that was a nOOb and a cock sucker.
He said to himself"lets do a stupid story about halo"
Then he gave his computer to his dog and said to him:
"write a story about halo"
So the dog wrote a stupid story and sent it to HBO.
Everione that readed his story puked and the hospitals got overloaded with sick ppl.
The next week after the story was posted Covenanat arrived to earth and said
"look the poor ppl.they have to read crap like this!let's kill'em for pitty"
Moral:if u're an asshole,a nOOb or a 6 year old boy don't post anything on HBO
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Dean's Mother
10:39 pm | June 2, 2004
because of that sucky shit you wrote little deanny tomorrow you wont get dessert nor breackfast
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InSaNe1024 (Zuka on Custom Edition)
7:19 pm | June 2, 2004
0.o
You are the reason the Covenant want to destroy Earth. You, my little n00bish "friend", have doomed all humankind to death at the hands of the Prophets. Thanks alot, ya jackass! And, unless you're a native Englishman or Austrailian (spelling :P), there is NO REASON IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE THAT YOU SHOULD SPELL TIRES TYRES!!!
Screw this. When the Covies actually DO get here, I'm gonna defect. Earth sucks and so do you! Thanks alot, I'm COMPLETELY insane now! *twitches* Your story is the saddest attempt and anything I've ever seen in my life! A friend of mine, who has NEVER even PLAYED Halo in his life wrote a better story than you! (T'is not up yet. He wrote it on paper). You have disgraced the name "Dean". It is now a horrible insult, worse than the worst insult anyone has ever said. *twitches* You're lucky I don't own a time machine or know your home address because I would go to 2552 and take the Master Chief back in time and tell him to kill you just to see you suffer. If not one of the greatest video game heroes of all time than I'll find an Elite and take him back in time and let him loose in your house just to see you suffer. Be afraid, be very afraid. I will find you and my M19 SSM SPNKr rocket be the last thing you see before your sorry ass trancends the physical.
negative gogol-plex out of one hundred, bitch!
(gogol is 1 followed by one million zeroes. Gogol-plex is double that.
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yeti
2:49 am | May 8, 2004
dont u know that hunters only travel in pairs?
And everything else sucked.
do some reseach. my guess is that u havent even gotten past level 5 yet.
read a dictionary. read the HSP.
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Keyes
1:50 am | May 7, 2004
OMFG, THIS STORY SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My god. I've read a lot of Fan Fictions(Though only recently starded posting comments) and this one SUCKED!!!!! Have you ever heard on Grammer?!?!?!?!?!?! CRAP!!!!! THIS STORY SUCKS!!!
Keyes
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Sterfrye36
11:36 am | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:
There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.
How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
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Sterfrye36
11:36 am | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:
There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.
How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
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Sterfrye36
11:36 am | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:
There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.
How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
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Sterfrye36
11:36 am | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:
There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.
How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
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Sterfrye36
11:36 am | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:
There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.
How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
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Mainevent
1:51 am | May 5, 2004
I dunno what you did Dean, but you've become very popular. Maybe it was all of the hatred of the n00bs that just happened to boil over with you.
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Solidus Snake
10:39 pm | May 4, 2004
You suck
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The Collector
9:59 pm | May 4, 2004
U Know its been a while since i wrote in the posts. Not because everything was so damn good but because theire was no need to write a critic on something thats been thouroughly criticised. But damn! When i open ur link when it first got release on here i shut it off and went to "Shadow Play" I tried going back to reading the first 2 sentences but quicly killed the window and went to read something else. I tried for the 3rd time and screamed at my computer for allowing ur story to pop up on my screen. Why oh Why their wasnt a system faillure on ur link i dunno. Ur story plain and simply put really really really really, well, infinately SUX. there's no other way 2 say this. U really didnt take time to read it through. It would a made for a great fanfic if it was written by a champ scratching its ass on the keyboard. Take it back to the drawing board, rewrite and Change the title. Maybe just maybe the old greats on this fanfic will give u a 5/10
All i got 2 say is ............
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System Failure
11:09 am | May 4, 2004
Check out my fan fic. Its called Halo 2: Operation Dream Knife. The last chap was posted on 4/28. Right now it is second to last on the fan fic page.
-System-
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Mainevent
1:10 am | May 4, 2004
Good luck I guess.
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spectre
12:03 am | May 4, 2004
Man how did this guy piss so many people off?
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Mainevent
9:48 pm | May 3, 2004
Brief would fail for me. SO I'll say this as politely as I know how.
STOP MOTAFUCKIN WRITING!
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BlackGhost
11:58 am | May 3, 2004
I read this much, and then stopped.
"The tyres"
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Nick Kang
11:06 am | May 3, 2004
If I were an Engineer, I'd give ALL tentacles down.
NK
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SeverianofUrth
11:06 am | May 3, 2004
Its people like you, Dean, that give noobs like me a bad name. You, horrible, horrible person.
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spectre
11:00 am | May 3, 2004
I know I just posted my first story, and it had its own problems. But did a fifth grader write this? No capitalization, punctuation, or grammar. What's really going on guy? I read the other comments, and I really hope that it wasn't your not the same Dean posting rude comments. I mean, how can you call someone else's story gay, when you don't have the basic education to write one of your own? However, I'm not one to ruin one's dreams, so work on your writing(all around) and learn to be nice.
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The Golden Child
7:01 am | May 3, 2004
I'll be brief: This story was crappier than horse manure. This was like something my six-year-old brother would write-except my brother's stories have far better grammar and action. Did I mention this story sucked nuts?
0/10
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yeti
2:47 am | May 3, 2004
okay lets see.... the n00biest n00b fan ficton ever to hit the fan fiction lobby... at 100mph, while covered in spam. mmm, spam..
1. read the halo: the fall of reach, halo: the flood, and halo: first strike. if you already have read em, read em again.
..2. play HALO: CE again .... SLOWLY. listen to what the characters say and do.
..4. look at the finer fan fics around, like A MARINE NAMED PETERS, and other such aclaimed titles.
..5. read a dictionary
..6. read your own fiction, and think about it. yes, THINK, it not that hard.
this may seem a little/way too harsh, but you really cant post this flaming hunk of halo-attempted-fiction here
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mmmeee0
7:10 pm | May 2, 2004
1. you need punctuation, and grammar, and use paragraphs.
2. learn the correct terms, the green thing the banshees/grunts/hunters shoot is from a feul rod gun, not a "plasma missile". and the rocket hog has a Gauss Rifle, not a plasma cannon.
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System Failure
6:52 pm | May 2, 2004
IF you're not joking, then you better just quit right now. I barley got past the tenth sentence. Tyre? Is that tree or tire? But if you just are young or something, try to proof read. I don't do it but my grammar is pretty good so people understand.
I wish had more hands to give it four thumbs down.
0/10
-System-
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Mainevent
4:26 pm | May 2, 2004
"Basic Grammar Requirements
All stories submitted to HBO must meet some basic grammar standards. We're not asking for perfect prose - but you should at least run your story through a spellchecker before submitting it. Likewise, punctuation is required. If you can't be bothered to do this, we can't be bothered to post your story."
Seems like Wu forgot the rule. ;)
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THE_FLAMER
4:15 pm | May 2, 2004
ARGHHH! THAT STORY MADE ME PUKE!! IT WAS TERRIBLE. If someone spells tire like tyre, then they should be shot, decapitated, dismembered, and dipped into sulferic acid. There isn't any words to describe how unbelievably ghastly this story was. TWO THUMBS WAY DOWN!!!
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Hikaru-119
4:12 pm | May 2, 2004
I'm in a nice mood today, so I'll say this. Three words, "Grammar and Detail"
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Nick Kang
3:54 pm | May 2, 2004
Okay is this the same 'Dean' that was calling everyone's stories gay? Man this person shouldn't be talkin. I couldn't even get past the sixth sentence!
NK
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Mainevent
2:06 pm | May 2, 2004
Is this a cruel joke from you people or do you guys actually write this poorly?
Either way, please stop.
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The Silver Spartan
1:59 pm | May 2, 2004
Wow, you know it can't be good when they don't capitalize the title! Aghhhhh!!! Someone needs to 'rescue' me from this horror!
I swear you damn noobs...
Warmest wishes,
The Silver Spartan
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Wiley
1:42 pm | May 2, 2004
.........
0/10
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The Silver Spartan
1:35 pm | May 2, 2004
Umm... How old are you?
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