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Fan Fiction for Idiots!
Posted By: Sterfrye36<Sterfrye36@yahoo.com>
Date: 29 May 2004, 8:52 PM


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After seeing the general quality of this section drop by a peg or two every update, I finally decided that I'd had it. Those ignorant fools who posted their stories with out the psuedocode! Now it's time for us to take our wrath and pour it out upon them! Ho! My comrades, it is time to crush those who would smear the glorious name of this section through their ignorance! Let us fight! Take your axes and crush the pantywaists who dare intrude upon the sanctity of this glorious area!
...Or maybe I'll just write this thing here for those people who don't read the instructions. Whatever.


hello and welcome to fan fiction for idiots im our host Sterfrye36.

      Let's examine just what went wrong, shall we? First off, for all of you who didn't listen in your Kindergarten English classes, you capitalize the first word of every sentence. Duh. Next is proper punctuation: There should have been a comma after "hello" and "host". Also, there should have been a period after "idiots".
      "Fan Fiction" should have been capitalized, as should have "Idiots". Why, you ask? Because it's the title of a story, moron. It should also have been in italics. What are italics, asketh you simple-minded fool? Simple, stupid. These words have been italicized.Any time you mention a document, ship class, or ship such as The Declaration of Independence, Marathon, or Pillar of Autumn, you need to italicize it. You need to italicize documents and character's thoughts as well.
      Also, that bit of writing up there was not indented.
      There are basic grammar requirements for Fan Ficiton here. I won't waste serverr space explaining every bit of it, but you should at least run your worthless piece of prose through a spellchecker. For more info, go here: http://halosn.bungie.org/misc/ffformdirections.html
      That's not hyperlinked. Cut and paste it into your browser, nimrod.

      Now you're asking yourself, But how do I achieve all of these things, wise one?. Put simply, underlining, italicizing, and bolding are all accomplished by the use of psuedocode. Psuedocode is special figures that tell the Fan Fiction submission form what you want it to do. These are the current psuedocodes that you can use.
      *Please note: Do not actually put any spaces in when using psuedocode. I am only doing that for the fact that you pieces of low-life scum wouldn't be able to see it if I didn't.
[ indent ] This is used to create indentions at the beginnings of paragraphs.
[ b ] is used to bold stuff.
[ i ] is used to italicize stuff.
[ hr ] is used to create a horizontal rule.
Don't put this on the same line as anything else in your fic, or it'll royally foul it up. Only use a horizontal rule when switching points of view or showing a large jump in time.
      Also, please ote that putting this code in does more than just the next word. It does whatever you tell it to until you tell it to stop. Do that by:
[ /b ] when you want to quit bolding stuff.
[ /i ] when you want to quit italicizing stuff.
      You don't need to do this with a horizontal rule or indentation. Also, after an indentation, don't hit enter to jump to the next line. Otherwise, the line ABOVE your text will be intended and, therefore, invisible.
      Since I've mentioned bolding, you can use that for emphasis or stuff that the character is reading. Also, if you want to do dates, bold them.
      If you want a really good example of how NOT to write fanfic, read this story:http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=dean_albury.0502041222231.html

      Please note that it makes your stuff really hard to read if you don't occasionally break your paragraphs up with a line of empty space, such as I've done above ^.
      If you do, however, ignore my advice and post a story like this any way, you'd better be wearing asbestos underwear, because the regulars around here will rip you apart at the comment's page.
      Sample some cruel (but just) commentary from that story above:
Sterfrye36
12:36 AM | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:

There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.

How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
Sterfrye36
12:36 AM | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:

There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.

How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
Sterfrye36
12:36 AM | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:

There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.

How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.
Sterfrye36
12:36 AM | May 6, 2004
If this was an attempt at comedy, you're too good. I laughed hard at this one. I mean, with sentences like:

There was a covenant had a blockade up ahead two covenant armoured personnel carrier twenty grunts, ten jackals, two elites and one hunter John pushed down the peddle and took Cortana out of the hog and back in his helmet, Kelly fired the cannon rapidly hitting the two apcs blowing them up. Five grunts got hit the two elites fired their weapons a couple of shots hit the hog melting parts the grunts were too afraid and running and the hunter was no where to be seen Kelly fired hitting the grunts the thing that caught John eye was the hunter just popped out and fired he said jump he and Kelly just got out in the nick of time, the hog got pretty mess up unusable the Spartans pulled out their weapons shotting the last of the grunts one of the elites jumped out to attack Kelly as it landed John got it with a sweeping kick and as it was on the ground he stamped his foot down on it's chest breaking the elites ribs and John put his rifle in its mouth and pulled the trigger.

How can you not like it? I just printed this out and am going to show it to several of my friends tomorrow.

Mainevent
2:51 AM | May 5, 2004
I dunno what you did Dean, but you've become very popular. Maybe it was all of the hatred of the n00bs that just happened to boil over with you.

Solidus Snake
11:39 PM | May 4, 2004
You suck

The Collector
10:59 PM | May 4, 2004
U Know its been a while since i wrote in the posts. Not because everything was so damn good but because theire was no need to write a critic on something thats been thouroughly criticised. But damn! When i open ur link when it first got release on here i shut it off and went to "Shadow Play" I tried going back to reading the first 2 sentences but quicly killed the window and went to read something else. I tried for the 3rd time and screamed at my computer for allowing ur story to pop up on my screen. Why oh Why their wasnt a system faillure on ur link i dunno. Ur story plain and simply put really really really really, well, infinately SUX. there's no other way 2 say this. U really didnt take time to read it through. It would a made for a great fanfic if it was written by a champ scratching its ass on the keyboard. Take it back to the drawing board, rewrite and Change the title. Maybe just maybe the old greats on this fanfic will give u a 5/10

All i got 2 say is ............

Mainevent
2:10 AM | May 4, 2004
Good luck I guess.

spectre
1:03 AM | May 4, 2004
Man how did this guy piss so many people off?

System Failure
12:09 AM | May 4, 2004
Check out my fan fic. Its called Halo 2: Operation Dream Knife. The last chap was posted on 4/28. Right now it is second to last on the fan fic page.

-System-

The Golden Child
8:01 AM | May 3, 2004
I'll be brief: This story was crappier than horse manure. This was like something my six-year-old brother would write-except my brother's stories have far better grammar and action. Did I mention this story sucked nuts?

0/10
yeti
3:47 AM | May 3, 2004
okay lets see.... the n00biest n00b fan ficton ever to hit the fan fiction lobby... at 100mph, while covered in spam. mmm, spam..

1. read the halo: the fall of reach, halo: the flood, and halo: first strike. if you already have read em, read em again.

..2. play HALO: CE again .... SLOWLY. listen to what the characters say and do.

..4. look at the finer fan fics around, like A MARINE NAMED PETERS, and other such aclaimed titles.

..5. read a dictionary

..6. read your own fiction, and think about it. yes, THINK, it not that hard.

this may seem a little/way too harsh, but you really cant post this flaming hunk of halo-attempted-fiction here
BlackGhost
12:58 AM | May 3, 2004
I read this much, and then stopped.

"The tyres"
Nick Kang
12:06 AM | May 3, 2004
If I were an Engineer, I'd give ALL tentacles down.

NK
SeverianofUrth
12:06 AM | May 3, 2004
Its people like you, Dean, that give noobs like me a bad name. You, horrible, horrible person.
spectre
12:00 AM | May 3, 2004
I know I just posted my first story, and it had its own problems. But did a fifth grader write this? No capitalization, punctuation, or grammar. What's really going on guy? I read the other comments, and I really hope that it wasn't your not the same Dean posting rude comments. I mean, how can you call someone else's story gay, when you don't have the basic education to write one of your own? However, I'm not one to ruin one's dreams, so work on your writing(all around) and learn to be nice.
mmmeee0
8:10 PM | May 2, 2004
1. you need punctuation, and grammar, and use paragraphs.

2. learn the correct terms, the green thing the banshees/grunts/hunters shoot is from a feul rod gun, not a "plasma missile". and the rocket hog has a Gauss Rifle, not a plasma cannon.
System Failure
7:52 PM | May 2, 2004
IF you're not joking, then you better just quit right now. I barley got past the tenth sentence. Tyre? Is that tree or tire? But if you just are young or something, try to proof read. I don't do it but my grammar is pretty good so people understand.
I wish had more hands to give it four thumbs down.
0/10

-System-

Mainevent
5:26 PM | May 2, 2004
"Basic Grammar Requirements

All stories submitted to HBO must meet some basic grammar standards. We're not asking for perfect prose - but you should at least run your story through a spellchecker before submitting it. Likewise, punctuation is required. If you can't be bothered to do this, we can't be bothered to post your story."

Seems like Wu forgot the rule. ;)

THE_FLAMER
5:15 PM | May 2, 2004
ARGHHH! THAT STORY MADE ME PUKE!! IT WAS TERRIBLE. If someone spells tire like tyre, then they should be shot, decapitated, dismembered, and dipped into sulferic acid. There isn't any words to describe how unbelievably ghastly this story was. TWO THUMBS WAY DOWN!!!

Hikaru-119
5:12 PM | May 2, 2004
I'm in a nice mood today, so I'll say this. Three words, "Grammar and Detail"

Nick Kang
4:54 PM | May 2, 2004
Okay is this the same 'Dean' that was calling everyone's stories gay? Man this person shouldn't be talkin. I couldn't even get past the sixth sentence!

NK

Mainevent
3:06 PM | May 2, 2004
Is this a cruel joke from you people or do you guys actually write this poorly?

Either way, please stop.

Wiley
2:42 PM | May 2, 2004
.........

0/10
The Silver Spartan
2:35 PM | May 2, 2004
Umm... How old are you?

      Keep in mind that these are some of the more polite put-downds. Many of the others had too much profanity in there to be posted here. And, as evidented by my obvious little goof-up there, never refresh after just posting a comment. It'll get posted twice. Instead, click on a link and then go back.

      I'm Sterfrye36. Thank you, and goodnight (You ignoramus!)

      THE END





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