The Comedy Parody Part2: Just when you thought it couldn't get any stupider
Posted By: someone that you dont know<firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: 3 May 2004, 12:32 AM
Part 2! Just when you thought it couldn't get any stupider, it did.
0500 hours April 8, 2562 WTF?
Never mind, who cares about this anyways?
The pause button had been pressed again. Damn it got to stop stealing ideas from other stories, before I have to sell everything I own. But this is supposed to be a parody right? Moving on. Press the play button damn it!
Ok, there was the pile of gore, the grunt foo master was dead, and there was chaos everywhere. Let's see it again! Someone pressed the rewind button, Burny's foot extracted from the grunt's body, the massive pile of guts on the floor shrank until the whole thing began re-forming into a vaguely recognizable humanoid shape. Mr. Revenge was once again with the living. "Dude, that was cool! Do it again Capt'!" The Captain was sitting in the corner, clearly something snapped in his mind. (The rewinding deal was not an original idea) The Captain was muttering some gibberish and was shaking violently.
The Covenant attackers where perplexed, having absolutely no idea how a VCR operates, they attempted the insane acts the humans had just accomplished. However, they only managed to kill themselves. "Hmmm, this isn't how it was supposed to happen" The Master Chief read through some manuals. "Here! It clearly states that the frozen marine trick was supposed to work, so, the grenade wasn't supposed to blow up and all of this crazy rewind stuff was never supposed to have happened." Oh well, at least it was different this time.
"Warning, self destruct mode activated, please evacuate immediately." An elite managed to press the "Self Destruct" button before it died. "Looks like someone set us up the bomb!" The delirious Captain said these last words before his mind went dead. Everyone rushed towards the lifeboats, when the last marine scrambled into a lifeboat, one of them realized that they had left the ODST's behind, but it was too late. The ingenious ODST's had hijacked a Longsword fighter and blew up all the lifeboats. "That's what you get for ditching us!"
"Ok Chief, where are we headed?"
"Ummmm, lets see, at our current velocity, and the amount of fuel left in the tank, we should be landing somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Wait, I didn't know the Pacific Ocean still existed! Cool." "Hold that thought, we'll be landing on some jungle island in the middle of nowhere. You know, the place where Sergeant EnterNameHere managed to take a whole Covenant base with only six marines. Or at least I think they did." It was true; the Longsword fighter was on a crash course to this tiny island completely covered with jungle stuff. In the background, a huge explosion emanating from a cigar shaped vessel. Other ships came to assist thinking that the explosion came from a covenant destroyer.
0530 hours April 9, 2562
Some jungle island
The ODSt's had landed on this unfamiliar island. All, were on their guard, suddenly a sound came from a bush. Everyone fired, mowing down the thick foliage and revealing the Master Chief huddling behind what little vegetation was left. "Damn it, I can never take a piss without being watched or monitored, leave me alone for once!" "Hmmmhmhm, oh did someone call my name?" An unwelcome blue light appeared out of nowhere. "What are you doing here 343?" All had their MA5B rifles trained on the "Real Troublesome Time Keeper." "Oh, I am no longer the annoying sphere of betrayal most of you know me as. My programming has been modified to transmit and receive television signals." Realizing this, Agent Shade and Sentinel demanded directions to the human base. "Hmmmm, I am a genius"
After hours of navigating the jungle, and plenty of "Wrong Turns" and "Detours" they finally arrived at base. One guy was sitting on a couch watching the Covenant Fashion Channel. (Yes, I got that from other comedy) "Dood, you watch this stuff?" Agent Shade asked the guy, who nearly flew out of the chair not realizing that visitors had come. "H-hell yea man! The best show there is, do you watch it?" "No, but I know who does." Agent Shade pointed to the Master Chief. The Chief turned red, but everyone could see it through his visor.
Ok, this is getting stupid. I'm going to stop writing right now and I wont go into things such as banshees with cup holders because I had to sell my computer so I can pay off the massive dept I owe (due to the large amount of stolen ideas in this comedy. But hey, it's a parody right?) So I no longer have MS word to type with. Goodbye, there is no The Comedy Parody part 3. The FBI are taking me away right now, I am struggling to type these last words on an invisible computer before they chain me up. Ok, Since this story has Helljumper, Burny, Agent Shade, CoLd BlooDed, Mr. Revenge, sentinel, and (the name is too damn long) Someone That You Don't Know, in it, I'll give all of them some lines to say.
CoLd BlooDed: "That was stupid"
Helljumper: "I'm glad that's over"
Sentinel: "Hey! How did you get here Mcc?"
MCC: "It's MCC not Mcc"
Mr. Revenge: "Kill the n00bs"
Burny: "I have better things to do"
Agent Shade: "I didn't have a line in the first one"
STYDK: "Someone That You Don't Know made me look stupid"