A Comedy of Peace Part 3
Posted By: Jason P.<firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: 30 June 2002, 3:16 am
Okay, part three, only... 3 months after part two was written. Sorry guys, I've been getting a lot of fan mail from this series, but there's way too much going on for me to write fan fiction regularly, not to mention that I made the grave mistake of letting John and Jevorah get rich, that takes out the fun. I'll keep writing comedies occasionally, but not with this series. So without further ado, I present the final chapter of A Comedy of Peace
Three months had passed since John and Jevorah got the letter that changed their lives. Instead of sitting on a dirty couch watching TV as they would have been, they were now sitting in their own director's chair, watching the filming of a battle scene in their new movie. They were watching the fake battle between marines and Covenant infantry while their attendants applied make-up to them.
"I don't get it. I wear full body armor, and my helmet is never off, why do I have to wear make-up?" asked John
"Yes, I am the same, and I am an alien. Why do we have to wear this make-up?" Jevorah chimed in with.
"Easy sillies! What if your helmets get thrown off in the heat of battle and you have to add-lib?" replied their chief attendant.
Jevorah and John looked at each other. John knew what was about to come out of Jevorah's mouth... he couldn't stop it, though he wished so. He would completely agree with what Jevorah was about to say, but still, human manners kept him somewhat nice about it....
"Is there something wrong with you?" Jevorah asked of the attendant. John rolled his eyes and looked away from the ensuing fiasco.
"CUT!" the director yelled.
"What is it THIS time?" asked John
"You didn't throw him off the bridge right"
"He fell off didn't he?"
"Then how did I not throw him off right?"
"You need to make it look like tripped him. Get your foot closer to his so that it really looks like you're kicking it out from under him."
"May I get up now?" Jevorah asked from the pile of cardboard boxes 30 feet below.
"Only if you learn to fall right!" answered the director.
"There's more than one way of falling?"
"URGH! Why must I work with the mongrels?!"
Another two years pass. The movie is finished, and John and Jevorah have new-found wealth as Hollywood superstars. Actually, make that Milwaukee. Hollywood was destroyed when the Covenant attempted to invade earth, and eventually the movie industry settled in Wisconsin. John and Jevorah became notorious for ignoring fans, John out of impatience, Jevorah out of fear. Neither could forget the media frenzy that occurred when Jevorah said he was scared of human children in an interview.
A month after the movie's release, John and Jevorah were sitting on a yacht in the Bahamas drinking wine, surrounded by the sexiest female specimens of their species. John was still a little weirded out by seeing naked Elites. (Humans still called them Elites, their self-proclaimed name can't be pronounced by human tongues). Jevorah simply wanted to know why the humans' chests were bulging. He tried to convince the women to see a doctor about it. If it weren't for John intervening earlier, he would have gotten a slap in the jaws.
"So what does Jevorah mean anyway?" John asked of his friend.
"You mean you don't know? It is the same as John in out language."
"Why would I joke?"
"This sounds like a cheesy ending to a movie, doesn't it?"
"Yes, it does. Good think no one is watching us."They were interrupted by a Jackal bringing them drinks. As the sun faded in the sky, the two looked at each other, and turned back to the beautiful ladies surrounding them.
Quite a crappy ending huh? Well, It's 11:30, I've had a headache the past two weeks, and I absolutely needed to end the series just so that it wasn't left open. Oh well... see you in another year or two.