The Night Before Cheifmas
Posted By: Matt<Matfield88@aol.com>
Date: 9 November 2004, 6:23 AM
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The Night Before Chiefmas
T'was the night before Chiefmas, and all through the ship
Not a creature was stirring, on the tracker, not a blip.
The banshees were parked in the hangar with care,
With hopes that St. John would never tread there.
The grunts were all nestled, snug in their beds,
while visions of food-nipples danced in their heads.
And the Chief with his helmet and I in his head,
Had begun to write plans for making them dead..
When outside the hangar arose such a clatter,
I yelled the chief orders and assessed the matter.
Grunts dropped in by twos, but with a blue flash,
MC turned them all into plasma-scarred mash.
The flash of the 'nade and the grunt bodies burning
Proved to us all that the tide was turning.
But then, to my wandering eye did appear,
A plasma sword daintily floating right here.
With a faint little shimmer and a clop-clop of feet,
I knew in an instant it was an Elite.
More rapid than Hunters he charged at the crowd,
The calls that he bellowed were ever so loud:
Wort wort wort! Aug aug aug! [evil alien laugh here--]
He was enough to make most cower in fear.
But our fearless leader, at the front of the pack,
Charged in full force for a head-on attack..
Like dead grunts that before the great frag grenade fly,
This commando elite also took to the sky.
Up, up, and up, the body count grew,
As the chief turned the cov'nant into a thick goo.
The carnage was over, MC took a breath;
The butt of his gun finish'd doling out death.
As I reached my hand into the big cheeto bag,
A lone little grunt waved a great big white flag.
But then Sargent Johnson with typical guile,
Spoke of "a cleanup need on the fourth asile."
The grunt ended quitely with hardly a peep,
and then the good Sargent toss'd it back on the heap.
When the battle was over i couldn't help stare;
The scope of destruction had laid the town bare.
I looked at the screen and put it on pause,
and marveled at just what the Cheif realy was.
He was dressed in all green from his head to his toe,
And was stained with the blood of thousands of foes.
A bundle of 'nades he had clipped to his belt,
And he resembled my wife by the damage he delt.
The remains of a clip he held tight in his hand;
And the smoke, it encircled his head in a band.
He reloaded his pistol and his SMG too,
As we planned to bid more of the cov'nant adieu.
Having finished this battle he readied his men.
They were ready to go in the T&R again.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the grav lift he goes.
As he rose to the ship to his team gave a shout,
And up they all flew up to the covenant hide out.
But I heard him exclaim as he rose out of sight:
"Happy Chiefmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Merry MasterCheifmas everybody, and Happy LANukah too!
-Matt
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