The story about a annoying little floating blue soccer ball (comedy)
Posted By: Major blue ball hater<loophole@aol.com>
Date: 4 May 2004, 5:31 PM
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The monitor hummed as rockets hit him again and again.
"Chief, he can't die, his AI code is in god mode!"
"DIE YOU ANNOYING LITTLE TURDBALL!!!!!"
"I am such a genius, do you require medical attention?"
The chief screamed as he threw himself onto the monitor. Slamming his rifle again and again into the little humming ball. The monitor laughed, which the chief took as the ball mocking him.
"YOU FREAKIN BALL OF INSANITY!!! DIE LIKE A GOOD SOB!"
"Hmm, hmm hhmm, hmhm, hm hum."
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
The chief screamed again as he thrust his knife into the evil little oversized plasma grenade. It didn't kill it.
"Cortana, how can i kill it?"
"Ask bungie if they will make a mod to turn all flood infection forms into monitors, then they will kill themselves."
"It's worth a shot. Hey bungie dudes."
"Yeah?"
"Can you make a mod to turn the little popping flood balls into annoying humming orbs of brain melting annoyance?"
"Sure!"
Soon all infection forms were 343 guilt sparks. They threw themselves at the chief while he laughed coldly. They exploded on his shields and he laughed more. He pulled out two SMGs and let loose on the unstoppable wave of monitors.
"BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
"Chief, chief, CHIEF!"
"What?"
He looked up, no more monitors were in sight.
"Just to make sure."
He grabbed ten grenades and threw them all into the hole. The wall exploded turning the chief's armor into scrap. Now naked, the chief grabbed a shotgun and explored farther into the library. Any combat or carrier forms who saw him istantaniously combusted from seeing a nude Spartan. The carriers popped and sent more blue balls of annoyance towards the waiting shotgun of the naked chief.
"Cortana, tell bungie to turn the combat forms into lovely, bakini clad girls. Cortana?"
He grabbed at his helmet, discovering it had been destroyed. Shrugging at the loss of the beautiful AI he stormed farther into the library. The chief finally made it to the index. The monitor told him to take it out. He did and slammed it into the little blue faceplate of the monitor. It's AI code overloaded and the ball exploded.
The chief ran through the two betrayals level, watching the covenant shield their eyes from him, and run around in circles. He laughed and blasted them apart with his rocket launcher. He grabbed a warthog and barreled through countless groups of monitors until he got to a large fighter.
After blasting off he talked to himself about blowing the ring up. The humming of the monitor had caused him to go insane. So he went to the closest human world and looked for a marine outpost. He saw a infection form, now a monitor. He shot it.
He found more and more, then he saw combat forms. They combusted when they saw him. The infection forms flowed, and his shotgun never ran out of ammo becuase he used a cheat code. He laughed and laughed as he fired the shotgun like a maniac. He saw more monitors and ran screaming towards them. He pul a grenade out and threw it towards them. It bounced off and blw up right under him. A cheat code made it where only his friends could kill him so he was just launched into the air laughing. He fired more at the little monitors and watched them explode in the gory fun of killing little blue orbs of annoyance.
He finally found a large room full of hibernating guilt sparks. The chief set a nuke in the room and set the timer for ten seconds. Running out of the room he was blown all the way across the planet. He looked around, and after shooting more monitors threw down the shotgun.
He began throwing grenades onto what ever moved. He saw a dairy queen, and after aquiring a large cone, blew the building to hell. He found a motorcycle. It didn't last long with a grenade toting insane Spartan. He then found the most beautiful sight. A rocket launcher. He began blowing up building s and other stuff before finally becoming sane again. He grabbed some girls and yelled yippee, then ran off into the night.
He shot the exploding monitors and watched the combat forms burn. He then went into the human camp and scared the marines who then shot him with a rocket launcher.
The chief woke up in hell were he was chained to a wall with thousands of 343 guilt sparks hovring around him, all humming and telling him they were geniuses.
THE END
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