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Merick's Journal's: Episode 3: Return to Blood Gulch, and The Broken Bagboy
Posted By: John Kitchen<unskathed777@yahoo.com>
Date: 19 November 2003, 11:28 AM
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Journal Date: 3-7-03
Hey Lizz,
I'm sorry; I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry, I knew we should've just been friends all along. Well, I just wanted to let you know that General Dominick ordered Obie and me to a Streaking physiatrist, said it was the only way that we wouldn't get suicide respawns. Well, I need a girl that will actually enjoy playing video games. Well, I wish that all of the other players would finally let me use an actual weapon. And they did. I got to fire of the 8 gauge magnum shotgun today, It kicks pretty bad, but it's damage is magnificent. You see, we have this midget guy joining the Red team. He's actually pretty funny, especially when we have a huge hill we need to climb, he'll try as hard as he can, then run back to the base, as we achieve the objective, and get there 50+ minutes late. It's rather quite funny.
Love In Christ,
Merick
Journal Date: 3-18-03
Hey Lizz,
The classes are going great, we got to watch a video today called "Why The Streaking Man Is Feared". It was hilarious! It's all about this African American man named Keenan who finds out that streaking isn't as fun as he thought. He ended up falling into a bed of nails, needless to say that everything on his body evened out just fine, except for his part. Ahem, that some how was un-proportioned to his body, and the nails drove right through it. I winced when I saw the blood.
Some really bad news! The Covenant are expected to make their strike soon. Our plan is to join forces with the Blues' and then, once the Covey's are dead, whip them in the back!! Hahaha! Well I wish I could talk to your friends again...
Keep your stick on the ICE!
Merick
Journal Date: 3-20-03
Hey,
I have to tell you that my mom isn't dead! She wrote to me yesterday, said that I needed to straighten my scrawny ass up, and so sent her a picture of my not so scrawny ass. Hehehe. Then I wrote P.S. put that in your peace pipe and smoke it. Then she said that when she was in the Penitentiary, 13 lesbians gang raped her, and she said that she was passed like a peace pipe, sorry mom! Well, the bagboy sent me back too! He said that I was lucky, because the day he left, he pulled a shotgun, and killed everyone in the whole store.
Man, I never knew a bagboy would go so far. He also said that I was the root of all his sorrows. He followed up by saying that he was coming to Alaska to see me, awe, how sweet of him.........................oh, shit.
I want my headstone to say: Best Halo Player Ever, Merick Johnson.
-Merick
Journal Date: 4-I'm not dead-Haha
He did show up, but it turns out that he had to beat me to a living pulp, because they confiscated his shotgun at the airport. It was rather embarrassing when the rest of my team came and boot partied me, and then the Blues' came and said: "hey! Now we can beat him out of the game!" That sucked pretty bad. Well, any whoo, I just wanted to say "Hi!" and to let my mommy know that I don't love her anymore.
I got to cut myself last night, the MC always had me on close watch, until last night when they went to a titty bar, said that I wouldn't enjoy it, so I stayed behind. I found out that Monopoly is the Shiznit! I own at that game.
C' ya!
Merick
Journal Date 4-30-03
I would like to pronounce that I am getting married. I met this bisexual chick at the classes, and we clicked, less than one condition though, her girlfriend has to join us, I really don't like that though. Well, she's got brown hair, and blue eyes. She's really hot! I'm so lucky, but then I'm hot too. I even get aroused when I look in the mirror. Hehehe. Ooops.
I think that it's time I stopped writing letters. It's just to fun though. I've been elected into the Aftermath squad, once this thing is done, I get to ride around in a Warthog and pick up at least 700 penis' and at least 100 clitoris', don't ask me how they got there...oh, my God....
In shock,
Merick.
Attention, I will be taking a break off from Merick's Journal's to work on my guitar, organize some drums for our band, and come up with more material. I want to make the next Merick's Journal's just as funny as the first one. Sorry.
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