They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction

The Blood Gulch Gig - Part Two
Posted By: Jillybean<jbean_gotmuse@yahoo.co.uk>
Date: 7 April 2004, 3:06 PM

Read/Post Comments

The Blood Gulch Gig

Author: Jillybean
AN: Might be slower in updating lately. Sorry.

You In?

My office, fully decorated with all my hard earned medals and lined with books on battle tactics (including my personal favourite: How To Win That War), was never used by anyone unless they wanted to shout some poor recruit's ears off. Usually that someone was me.

Stern faced and with very angry eyebrows I dismissed the snivelling wreck before me. The recruit scurried from the room, flinching as Sherbet opened the door. She watched him crab-walk around her, saluting all the time, with a vaguely amused expression.
       "Can I come in for my spanking now, sir?"
       "One of these days, SPARTAN, one of these days."
       Sherbet flicked the chair around and straddled on it, leaning her chin on the back. I pretended to scribbled on the recruit's report. If I didn't look up, she wouldn't think there was anything suspicious. With every little box scribbled on I was running out of ideas. Full of purpose and menacing masculine intent I took a book from the shelf (Inner Calm - Outer Wrath, by Shy Ska) and leaned back on my leather chair. My Christmas present to myself.
       "Thomas . . ."
       I glanced up. "Hmm? Oh, sorry Sherry. I was reading."
       Sherbet snorted. "Fine. Don't tell me what you and Chris are doing. I'll bet it's nothing interesting anyway."
       "It is too!"
       "Hah!" Sherbet tilted forward, eagerly anticipating her next tidbit.
       I returned to reading. "My book is fascinating."


"Okay." Chris stood on the pinnacle of rock with his paint sniper hanging from his little finger. During particularly important rants he'd twirl it round and around. I tried to stay out of the way, but still on the rock. It wasn't easy.
       "We have . . ." Chris began (there went the sniper again) "firstly to get past the Blue Base perimetre on the night of the Gala."
       "That's easy," I interrupted, gently stopping the madly swinging sniper. "Blue Base is where the ceremony's held. The actual Gala's outside. We'll just wait until everyone's gone to watch the fireworks."
       Chris's eyes lit up. "That would mean we would have audio cover."
       ". . . yeah. That too." I knew from experience that Chris had a penchant for explosives.
       "After getting into Blue Base we need to bypass the security protocols. The Gem will be returned to the safe after it's been shown around at the ceremony."

I frowned, distracted by the recruits in the canyon below. "Fire! Simmons! You can't defeat an enemy without firing!"
       Shaking my head, I returned to the conversation. "Actually. I've been thinking about that." I took a deep breath. "Glory."
       "Glory!" Chris repeated. Well, he actually 'bellowed' and the recruits froze, but I caught the gist of what he meant.
       "Yeah, wait, hear me out."
       "You do know that this has to be a secret, right?"
       "Glory can keep a secret . . . bad explanation. Look, who else do you know who can crack those security measures?"
       Chris leaned closer, the sniper rifle firmly in his grasp. I couldn't quite tear my eyes from it. "He's . . ."
       "You know,"
       "No. I really don't."
       "He's queer! I don't know who he bloody modelled himself on but I placed bets on Elton John! He'll have told Honour and Justice that we're gonna lift the gem before we've even figured out how!"
       "C'mon, Glory hates Honour and Justice. And besides, do you know anyone who'd love to escape this rock more than Glory?"
       Chris grumbled and eventually looked down at his sniper rifle. I took that as a 'I am so not happy about it, but you're right.'

"So after we're past the security," I prompted.
       Chris thought about it. "Laser web."
       "Easy as pie," I grinned. "I came top of the class in gymnastics."
       "And now getting off the planet." Chris folded his arms. "There's only one ship fast enough . . . the one your girlfriend came in."
       "Janice is not my girlfriend," I snapped. "Yet."


We waited in the dim, dusty bunker with only one fluorescent light on. When Glory flickered in on the table, he instantly raised the lights, killing the mood of secrecy and suspense.
"SPARTAN 007, SPARTAN 160," Glory, formal as he was, was looking very suspicious. His goldy skin pulsed orange.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table, while Chris loitered imposingly. "Glory . . . we have a . . . proposition . . ."
Glory's finely sculpted holograpic eyebrow shot into his locks of golden holographic hair.
"What would you do to get off this rock?" I asked, settling backwards and preparing for the long haul of tiptoeing round the proposition.
"I have a plan, actually," Glory announced. "And no doubt it's far better than anything you two nitwits have dreamed up."
"Oh yeah?" Chris asked. "We know how we're stealing the gem."
I smacked my forehead off the table.
Glory sniffed. "Oh really? And how do you plan to get off the planet? If 007 is stealing the Gem and 160 is distracting the crowds?" He purred at our resentful expressions. "Exactly. Boys, you need me."


"And we need her."
       Glory, Chris and I watched as Janice marched past us, briefing her dignitary on Blood Gulch's systems.
       "I don't understand," I said.
       "Yes," Sherbet mused as she approached. "That's often the trouble with men."
       "Gonna tell anyone else, Glory?" Chris asked caustically.
       "Do you know anyone else who can drive a Warthog from one end of the canyon to the other faster than I can, Chris?" Sherbet demanded.
       "Sherbet, anyone can do it faster than you can."
       "Fine. But who else can you trust." Sherbet settled by our rock.
       "And then there were four," Glory smirked. "We might just pull this off."
       I was beginning to doubt it.