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A Whacky Spartan (Part 3)
Posted By: Daniel Jackson<danjack13@hotmail.com>
Date: 16 July 2002, 10:06 pm


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Part 3 - The other SPARTAN III's are in trouble!
Daniel lands in the medic station again...
January 23, 3002 Military Calendar Epsilon Eridani System
***

The next morning, Will walked downstairs to get some breakfast. He was hoping to meet the injured Daniel Jackson, but instead ran into Steven, who was less than happy to see Will. In an attempt to act normal, Will ignores the Redheaded man and gets out a spoon to eat his MRE Lucky Charms. (Remember, he's not allowed to eat the MRE Cheerios!) Steven, as he drank his coffee, noticed the crazy American and thought to himself that maybe the 47 System's effect had finally worn off. He decided to have a little...conversation with Will.

Steven: So, Belchik...how are you on this wonderful new New Hawaiian day?

Will ignores Steven, pretending that he didn't hear the other SPARTAN III pilot making a threat to take Brittany and marry her.

Steven: *slowly getting annoyed with Will* BELCHIK! Answer my QUESTION!

This time, Will loses his control, reaches across the table, and begins choking Steven, screaming that he will "never have Brittany."

Steven: Bastard! I do NOT want that girl! She's yours for all I care!
Will: *grinning* That's exactly what I wanted to hear, Steve-man. Thank you! *lets go of Steven and dances around the compound happily*

Of course, on his fourth time around the compound, Stupidami runs right into Jake, who was actually dressed...in a tuxedo...

Will: *eyeing Jake suspiciously* Where do you think you're going? You're going somewhere with Brittany, aren't you?
Jake: *confused* What? What the hell is wrong with you, Will? I'm not going out anywhere with Brittany! You know today's my sister Ali's wedding on New Reach, and I'm her future husband's best man!

But of course, that's not what Will-013 hears...

"Jake": Duh, you bastard! I told you months ago that I was going to marry Brittany today! You're my best man!!
Will whips out a MA9E and starts shooting at Jake's feet. Poor Jake is forced to jump up and down to avoid getting shot in the boots.
Will: NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE BRITTANY! SHE'S MINE FOR ALL ETERNITY! YOU GOT THAT, BITCH?
Jake: Yes, yes, YES! Please stop, Will! I REALLY need to get going!

But alas...the 47 System and "Shay" kick in again...

"Jake": Whatever, Will! You'll never have her, especially since she agreed to marry ME!
Will throws Jake out the window, making the poor man fall a good three stories. Brittany, who was outside lifting weights with James, went to the now semi-conscious Jake and checked to make sure that he was all right. She looked up from the spot where he had fallen, and saw Will there, laughing.
Will: That'll teach you to take MY woman! BRITTANY! What are you doing with that trash? *jumps the three stories down and doesn't get hurt* Is it true, Brittany?
Brittany: What in the world are you talking about, sir?
Will: Are you really going to marry Jake?
Brittany: Of COURSE NOT! Why would I marry Jake?

But to Will...

"Brittany": Of course I wouldn't marry JAKE, I want to marry YOU!
Will: Oh, Brittany-672! *gives Brittany a passionate kiss*

At that very moment, a certain Perfect Soldier just happened to walk right outside and saw Will kissing the former "SPARTAN of the Year." Daniel's eyes widen VERY characteristically, and the shock is suddenly replaced by anger and jealousy.

Daniel: *walks up to the couple* I thought you liked me, Brittany...
Brittany: *pushes Will away from her* I DO! I--He...*barfs*
Will: *catches the lovely Brittany before she goes THUD on the ground* Ah, so you're after my woman again, Jackson? Didn't you learn anything LAST night?
Daniel: *backs Will into wall* Yeah, I learned that you've been inside of my Longsword, and that I really should BE PREPARED! *whips out a gun* Now YOU D--

Before Daniel can finish his little speech, he trips and fires the pistol accidentally. The other four SPARTAN III's see a bird fall out of the sky, dead, and landed right on top of Daniel.

Daniel: *showing a look of disgust* How the...
Will: *standing up and grinning like an idiot* Aww! Look at poor little Daniel-047! Did little Daniel-047 break his butt? *starts laughing*
Daniel: *growling as he gets up* WILL! NOW YOU DIE!

Will starts smirking again, and grabs the gun Daniel dropped, aiming at him. He shoots, and he places another bullet into the "Perfect Soldier," this time in the leg.

Daniel: Damn! I knew I should have worn my armor today!
Will: It's not like it would have worked, anyways! I disabled the shield! Well, Daniel-047, it's time for me to go! Goodbye, and remember...Brittany's MINE! HAHA! *runs away*

James and Steven try locating the insane Petty Officer, but after about seven hours, they both decided to give up. Motion Trackers showed nothing. Since it was MDMT(Mid-day Meal Time), they went into the mess hall to have something to eat for MDMT, knowing that eventually, Will's bottomless pit of a stomach would get the better of him. Of course, Brittany took Daniel to the Medic Station for the second time in 24 hours, only to be sent to the closest UNSC hospital. Jake was already in the hospital, and he and Daniel ended up in the same room.

Daniel: We've gotta figure out how in the world to stop Will...
Jake: No kidding, I can't take much more of this crap. Daniel, I have a question...
Daniel: What..
Jake: I don't mean to be nosy, but...do you really like Brittany?
Daniel: I do NOT LIKE THAT ANNOYING GIRL! She's....beautiful...and smart....and...and... *drools*
Jake: I see, Daniel. *thinking* Yep, he's in love with Brittany. I guess I owe Steven my new S4 DM Sniper Rifle with 45x zoom...damn.

Little do the injured SPARTAN III's know that their fellow soldier, the one called Will, just happened to be outside of their room, hearing every part of the conversation.

Will: AHA! So he IS after MY Brittany! I'll teach him a lesson...but how?
"Shay": Here's an idea, Will. You know where the nurses have their little "locker room" place?
Will: OH YEAH! *drools*
"Shay": *hits Will upside the head* Snap outta it! I thought you loved Brittany...
Will: Oh yeah! *starts acting serious* Well, what does *that* have to do with killing Daniel?
"Shay": *grins*
Will: *suddenly realizes what's going on* OH NO! I'm NOT dressing up like a nurse! I HATE CROSSDRESSING!
"Shay": A little louder, Will, I'm not quite sure if everyone in the hospital HEARD YOU! *hits Will again* Do you want Brittany as yours, or are you going to let that bastard get her?
Will: Well...yeah...*under his breath* Love hurts.
"Shay": *grins* Alright, here's the plan...





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