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Before we start, I'd like to say that this has nothing to do with the story. I just did it for fun. It was about to bust out of me. Has anyone ever played Thief-The Dark Project?
Eric stood in the shadows by the door. Someone on the other side was approaching. He gripped his combat blade tighter.
"Eric," Victoria, the woman that hired him to steal Constantine's golden pistol, said softly. "It's Victoria. I trust you made it back alive? You've done well. Come with me. And bring the pistol. There's someone you have to meet. It's time for your payment."
"Yes," Eric said.
Eric, in full armor, sat in a chair. Victoria stood by a man in a cloak.
"Hello, Mr. Eric," the man said. "A refreshment? I am in the possession of a unique brandy that has rather restorative effects. Would you like some?"
"I prefer my payment in cash, not liquor," Eric said, bored. "Mr.?"
"My apologies. I have been watching you very closely, Mr. Erics. So closely, in fact, that I'm afraid I forgotten we haven't actually met yet. I am Constantine." The man smiled.
"And all this time I thought you were going to pay me," Eric said, pissed. "You've brought me here to kill me."
"But you have it all wrong. Would it surprise you to know that it was I that hired you to steal my own pistol? Yes, you see, Victoria and I are . . ."
"Old associates," Victoria added in.
"Yes. You were being tested. Do you understand? And I must say, you more than live up to your reputation. You are quite an extraordinary thief."
"Testing me? What do you want from me?"
"You see, Mr. Eric, I am a collector. "But there are some...items, that are not available for purchase. They must be acquired using other means. In this case the item in question would be best acquired by thieving. Not simple thieving...no. I need an artist.
Like yourself."."
"And what exactly is this . . . item?"
"It is an ancient gemstone called the Eye for its unusual . . ."
"Appearance," Victoria added.
"Yes. Kept hidden in the sealed cathedral deep inside the halls of
the scum Hammerites. Oh, but forgive me. You are, possibly...friendly...with
the Order of the Hammer?"
"No," Eric said angrily at the thought of Hammers. "Fanatics make unreliable friends."
"Excellent. I am offering quite a sum for it," Constantine continued. "One-hundred thousand, upon receiving the Eye"
" I don't see how I can refuse such an offer."?" Eric asked.
The two hirerers smiled with malevolent joy. Eric stood and shook Constantine's hand. "Marvelous. Viktoria can fill you in on all the particulars. And Mister Garrett...the pistol. Keep it. You have earned it. But also...I believe you'll find it useful in
your quest...."
Return to the Cathedral
The doors to the cathedral blew into the building with a blazing explosion. Eric stepped in through the mess, holding his rocket launcher firm. Another pair door stood across the entryway. Three undead guys with hammers opened those doors and ran towards Eric.
One rocket later . . .
The undead guys laid in pieces on the floor, wall, and Eric's armor.
Eric entered the doors in front of him, reloading his rocket launcher. When he got in, he immediately fired in all directions, reloading in between. Eight more rockets were fired, destroying the room, zombies, and ghosts within.
The Eye was lying on the floor. Eric walked up to it slowly and picked it up. He turned it around and around and around again. He got mad at its ugliness, so he punched it. Then he put it in his magical, invisible inventory thingy.
Eric exited through the back door for some reason. He dropped his empty rocket launcher and pulled out a shotgun. A ghost stood five feet in front of him.
"Oh, hello," it said. "Welcome to our humble cathedral. I am Brother Murus . . ."
"Die, Murus, DIE!!!!" Eric fired his shotgun five times before the ghost exploded into pieces. "Man, that psycho almost killed me!"
Eric handed the Eye to Constantine. Creepy music was playing in the back ground.
"I can't tell you how pleased I am,' he said. "I simply can't find the words. Perhaps Victoria can help me with that regard. She has such a way with them."
"Yes, Mr. Eric," she said. "We are both so very pleased. Even though the Eye is defective."
"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BUGER BASTARDS!!" Eric shouted at the top of his lungs. The anger bursted out of him. "AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK I DID, AND ALL THE AMMO I WASTED GETTING THAT STUPID EYE?! YOU BOTH SUCK!!"
Victoria and Constantine gave Eric a weird look.
"I'm sorry," Eric said.
"I'm afraid she right. The Eye is completely blind."
Eric cursed in German. "It's a friggin rock!! Now where's my pay?!"
"Right," Constantine said with another malevolent smile. "Victoria, are you ready to give Mr. Eric his . . ." Constantine's chest busted out of his shirt. He grew horns, and the Trickster symbol appeared on his forehead. " . . .Compensation?"
To Eric's joy, Victoria's clothes fell off, but not so to his joy was the fact that she had vines growing out of her. "Bow down to the Woodsie Lord, man fool!" Vines shot out of Victoria's fingers and smashed him against a pillar. "And offer up your flesheye so that his eye of stone may see."
Victoria threw off Eric's helmet and ripped his right eye right out of its socket. Eric, covered in vines, fell to the floor, shaking with pain.
" Bids he then the spruces to singer him an anthems! And the Woodsie
Lord binders them fleshes to stone!"
"Do you think those ancient phrases were mere words, manfool?" Constantine asked. "Look at me! I am the Woodsie Lord, the Trickster of legend!"
Victoria handed Constantine Eric's eye. He set it on the tip of the Eye. " If you be thirsty, fleshthing, drink of me." The prongs on the Eye closed around Eric's eye. "If you be hungry, then feed for I am the honeymaker, and the jacksberry!"
"He am the leaf that feeders on the fleshed ones. Thems that calls themselves Builders and wielded up a hammers against him"
Eric looked up at the ugly God and his assistant. "I," Eric said slowly. "Am. Seriously. Pissed. Off."
"My poor Mr. Eric, you won't be alive to see the sprawling glory of it! Your sacrifice is not yet complete. "
Eric was starting to feel numbed. Constantine spoke up. " Stands He then in the greens and festered Maw and speeds He out his judgements upon the weeps and writhing man fools!"
Eric saw Constantine a Victoria walk threw the portal, INTO THE MAW OF CHAOS, then the portal closed behind them.
The pain drove Eric crazy as more vines covered his face, and his only eye closed.
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