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Fan Fiction

Jackal Interview
Posted By: Gasmask
Date: 27 February 2003, 4:36 pm

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Jackal“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!”
I shrieked, upstarting-
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy
Soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!-quit the bust upon my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy
  form from off my door!”
Quote the Jackal, “Nevermore.”

-A shameless parody of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven”-

      I thought that verse might be a nice way to warm up our interview for this issue. As alluded to in the verse, this interview is on the Jackal. We were able to find a wounded, defenseless one, off on its own, blinded, so we decided to interview it.

Gasmask: Hi. How are you doing?
Jackal: A little hurt, a little blind, but other than that, alright. What can I do you for?

Gasmask: I’m trying to get some background information on the Covenant. Could you give me a basic job description?
Jackal: Well, I do what everyone else does. I try to kill as many humans as possible before I die. But, my roles were varying. I was a guard sometimes, an assassin others, a scout, a frontline trooper, and a support specialist. It wasn’t too bad of a job.

Gasmask: Cool. So, have any hobbies?
Jackal: Well, I actually liked reading poetry. So, of course, now that I’m blind, that was taken away from me. However, I can still make my own poems and recite memorized ones.

Gasmask: You’ve made you own poems? Can we get some of them recorded?
Jackal: Ok. >Clears throat< “Ode to the Battlefield.”

As I walk through all the blood so
I see all of the humans,
They should all have turned and
So another word they could have
The Flood may soon have my
Which fills me with so much awful
But I say this, and to my
It’s far better than being
In a pool of blood so

Gasmask: Whoa. Heavy. So, do you have any family waiting for you back home, wherever you come from?
Jackal: Nope. Swinging single and both of my parents are dead.

Gasmask: I’m sorry to hear that. (Said while restraining a smile)
Jackal: No worries. They tasted great for a few days. (Chuckles)

Gasmask: (Awkward silence) You eat your kin when they die?
Jackal: Oh, yes. We like to keep our planet clean and tidy, and we can’t really dig graves. We’re not physically suited for that sort of heavy work.

Gasmask: Ok. Well, I guess you have to get rid of them somehow. Anyways, what was your home planet like?
Jackal: It was hot. And humid. And swampy. They say that there are places like that on earth. It’s not always nice, but its home. I like all the trees. I enjoy climbing in the odd tree once in a while.

Gasmask: And how do you climb trees? I mean, you’re not very strong.
Jackal: None of my species are, really. We have suction pads on our fingers that we have naturally. We just grab a tree and pull ourselves up. The suction is actually pretty strong.

Gasmask: So, what is your favorite food?
Jackal: Normally, Kvardian bloodworms. But those are getting hard to find on our travels, and the stuff the grunts eat is just awful. So, normally I just run around the ship, like a giant exterminator, and eat small insects. That’s my natural diet, anyway. However, I have found a type of Human food that I like. I got it off of a Human ship after it crash landed on Halo. The ship was called the Pillar of Autumn, and the food was called “Spaghetti and meat sauce.” Really, really good stuff.

Gasmask: Did you have a job before you became a Covenant soldier?
Jackal: Well, I hunted, and fished, and did all kinds of stuff for my tribe back home. It was primitive, compared to Covenant standards, but I enjoyed it. Not everything changes for the better.

Gasmask: Boy, ain’t that the truth. So, what kind of weapons did you use to catch fish and stuff?
Jackal: We didn’t use weapons, as a matter of fact. Going back to our hands, the suction pads were great for catching fish. And we just used traps for hunting. The highlight of being back home, however, was the social interaction. Everyone knew everybody else. It was a happy life. Now, when we’re on Covenant ships, we still socialize, but only with other Jackals. We like to keep ourselves to ourselves, so to speak.

Gasmask: Ok, thanks for talking with us.
Jackal: No problem.

      It was about this time, I realized that a Covenant dropship would be inbound soon to pick this guy up. Seeing as the pilot and gunner probably weren’t blind, I decided to hop in my 'hog and tail it. If you’re calling me a wuss, hey, I’m just a reporter, give me a break. Anyhoo, that’s the last of the interviews for a while. Gasmask signing off! Have a good one.