Pyramid (a comedy) CHAPTER ONE!!!
Posted By: FUELRODGUN<knexster92@cableone.net>
Date: 30 May 2004, 4:44 AM
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As we all know, the Covenant found the location of Reach, almost anihhilated the entire planet, and then the majority of thier force was lead away by the Pillar of Autumn. But we do not know that all of the Covenant ships made it to Halo.
Because not all of them did...
"What's our status?" The ship master Noko 'Inodolee was very upset. "What's our status?" He asked his bridge officers, more urgently. "Sir, we appear to be experiencing some difficulties with the Slipspace generator." said Ino 'Kanmahee, an officer. i wonder what happened to it. thought Noko.
The Grunts howled loudly as they drunk thier coolant, ramming into each other drunkedly, some lying on the ground gasping for breath. "This sure is a (hic!) awesome party you got goin' on!" said Kakat to Rajag. "I know!" he replied to Kakat. "Imagine! you can (hic!) count on Takfax to scratch up enough dough to (hic!) bribe the Elites to not (hic!) patrol the Slipspace generator room!" He looked at the generator, which had been torn apart to leak coolant, which was being collected in a large barrel, from which cups of the stuff were constantly being taken. "Ever since Takfax introduced (hic!) me to this stuff I (hic!) couldn't get enough of it!"
Oh well, thought 'Inodolee. it didn't matter now. "Sir!" The shout stirred him from his thoughts. "On-screen!" the officer said, and with a zip!, the screen turned on. He gasped. He was looking at an extremely large triangle, with the exact features of Halo, excepting the shape. "Sir?" said the officer."Orders, sir?" "Land." barked Inodolee."Immediately." "Yes, sir." said the officer, and he reached for the COM. "All landing parties be ready to launch in 15 units!" he said over the COM, and clicked it off. Suddenly he clicked it on again and added, "And can I have a large root beer with that?" Inodolee pulled out a grenade. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!" he yelled, and stuck the grenade to his own face. The explosion depresurized the cabin and sucked them out the open hole. the loss of bridge controls bought the entire ship to critical levels. The whole thing finally gave and it blew up, destroying it and the triangle-like Halo.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Ahem. Sorry, i just thought the story was lacking comedy. Onward.
"What will we find down there, sir?" said the officer, after clicking the COM off. "I don't know." said Inodolee, shaking his head. "I don't know."
BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! "Ow." This was the last word of Bucxa, a Grunt, after being blown away by a rocket Sentinel. Yes, a rocket Sentinel. In this structure, Pyramid, as they learned from ruins in the walls, the guardian Sentinels were armed with rocket launchers. BOOM!, BANG!, and BAM! ruled this structure. Apparently the Flood had killed themselves because of a Poker game disagreement, so the Sentinels, after blowing away the exceedingly annoying Monitor of Pyramd, had nothing to do. So they were busy shooting small moving objects like squirrels and rabbits, blasting them to the ground, when the Covenant came around. Ooo! Bigger Targets! thought the Sentinels, and they immediately opened fire. The Covenant didn't like this to much so they swore to destroy the Sentinels, and full-out war erupted on Pyramid.
Xaxe 'Onvachee smiled as he watched the battle raging below. His troops had surrounded this scout group of Sentinels, only to discover that it was an invasion force headed for Ganga, the base where the Covenant had established HQ. The Covenant had outnumbered the Sentinels 2 to 1, however, and immediately opened fire on the Sentinels. The numbers had been whitled down to about 208 to 124, Covenant in favor, when finally 'Onvachee ordered in a squadron of Banshees in to participate in the slaughter. That hadn't worked to well because if you were accurate wiht a rocket launcher then all Banshees around you were toast, and D***! Were Sentinels accurate! Still, the Banshees had taken lots with them and had made the numbers 204 to 112. Still, it was going to slow for 'Onvachee and he wanted to speed it up. But how? Then it came to him. Wraiths. Yes. he called in 5 Wraiths and waited. Finally they came. He ordered them to shoot into the valley. Unfortunately for the Covenant below, 'Onvachee had not given the Wraiths the direct coordinates for the enemy. So when the Wraiths stopped firing, and 'Onvachee checked the numbers. he slapped his hand to his face. 1 to 109. The last living Covie, a Grunt, froze in terror as the Sentinels surrounded him. Then they all shot at one time. There was nothing left of the Grunt. "Awwwwwww... s***..." the Gold elite mumbled as he let his hand fall, then he froze. The Sentinels were coming at him.
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