Halo Trilogy Side Story: The Grunt Interrogation (comedy)
Posted By: Alpha Lance<AlphaLance619@aol.com>
Date: 2 November 2003, 2:27 AM
Yes, that is right, I'm doing side stories now for my Halo Trilogy series! It can be anything like comedy to sad. And don't worry about errors, 'cause it is going to go along with the story. 'Cause I didn't look over it. I hope there are some errors to go along with the story. ::fart:: Sorry. Enjoy the story.
Halo Trilogy Side Story: The Grunt Interrogation
"Subject A, rise now." Corporal Ben Smallcock said, looking down from a room.
Major Sean Dickword looked at Cpl. Smallcock and whispered, "that was stupid."
"You sounded like judge."
"You know what!?"
"What?" Smallcock asked, looking at Dickword.
Dickword paused, "Screw it."
"I thought I told you to stand up!" Smallcock yelled.
The Grunt named Sacktap replied, "But I can't."
"How am I supposed to stand up when I'm strap to the CHAIR?"
"STAND UP YOU PIECE OF -bleep-!" Smallcock looked at Dickword cocking his eyebrow. "Why did you bleep me out?"
"'Cause it was a bad word. We don't want the kids to hear that know will we?"
"What kids?" Smallcock asked.
"Kids that are reading this story like Walker, Hunter_Killer, Mainevent, Jinkaiden, and Alpha lance."
"Alpha Lance is the one who is writing this story, dummy!"
"What ever, lets just go down there all ready and interrogate the little assclow."
The two men walked down into the interrogation room, wooooo, fear the interrogation room, wooooo. *Alpha Lance got slap by his Amazon sister* Awe, sorry, the two men walked into the interrogation room. Dickword turned out the lights as Smallcock turned flipped a switch. When he flipped it, a disco ball came down and a funky beat started to play. "Whops, wrong one." He flipped another switch, this time a sign felled down that said, 'happy birthday Alpha Lance.' "His birthday isn't until January the 23rd? Oh wait, this is the right switch." He flipped it, a small overhead light turned on.
Smallcock grabbed the light and pointed at the Grunt's face. Then his, then the Grunt's face, then his, after he had done that 15x. The grunt finally said, "what in the hell are you doing?"
"I'll ask the question!" Smallcock yelled.
"Okay, but please don't hurt me..."
"You can't handle the truth!" Smallcock yelled stupidly.
"What are you talking about?"
Smallcock gazed for a while, and then said, "tell me all you know."
"Okay," the Grunt replied. "All I know is about this ship called the Fall of Fate―" The Grunt was interrupted by Smallcock.
"He isn't talking Dickword."
"Want me to get the fire power?"
"Yes, get the...phone book." ::drama music played in the back ground::
"Alright," Dickword said, picking up the 500,000 pages, 50 pounds, 2552 phonebook.
Smallcock took the phonebook and started to approach the Grunt. "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" The Grunt yelled. Quickly Smallcock smack the Grunt in the face sending the Grunt across the room.
"You going to talk now."
"Okay! There is a ship called Fall of Fate, and it has some info on weapons development, this ring world called Halo, and new flavors of Camel Light cigs, just don't hit me with the big -bleep-."
"Okay, I'll stop bleeping y'all out.
"Where was I?"
"Ass." Smallcock answered.
"Oh yeah. Big ass phonebook."
Smallcock look at him a nodded as he said, "hmm um, hmm um, hmm um, hmm um, hmm um, hmm um."
The Grunt looked at Dickword and asked, "what's wrong with him?"
Dickword just stared at him. "Yo, get up in heur, Major. Fro want to know wut ya find out dowg. F'sizzle." ZDogg said over the intercom.
"Alright," Smallcock said. "Make sure you kill him."
"How?" Dickword asked.
"I don't know. Smuttier him with J'Lo's fat ass."
"What, ain't she dead?"
"No, we put her in cryo ceni, cena, what ever that word is."
"Yo, hurre urp dawg, he carn't wait mang." Just then the intercom blew up.
Smallcock went up to Major. Fro's office door. He went in and saw Major Fro and his massive fro. Major Fro also had a patch on his left eye; he lost his left eye in the Valentine Grunt Massacre. "Yo, sit down."
"No, not there dog, there." Major Fro said, pointing at a plant. "Not there, there, yo. Not there, there."
Smallcock sat down in the chair. "Alright, what's you find out." He said, crossing his arms back and forward like a rapper.
"Umm...sir, you're talking to a plant." Smallcock said.
"O kay..." He said, doing a 360 on his head and stopping on his side with his head rested on his hand.
Dickword walked in the room, he stooped and said, "grunt has been smuttier."
"How it going bro." Major Fro said, doing a back flip.
"Stop!" Smallcock said. "This isn't a -bleep-...give me that!" Smallcock said. He took away the bleep controller and threw it in Major Fro's hair.
"Oooo...now I'll never find it." Dickword said all disappointed.
"Alright! The Grunt said that there is a ship called Fall of Fate and it has info on everything to weapons development to this ring world called halo that can destroy everything and there are these monsters called Floods on there."
"How do you know that?" Dickword ask with confusion. "The Grunt didn't say anything about Flood and destroying everything."
"No shit Sherlock."
"Then how do you know?"
"It is something I know and Alpha Lance forgot to put in the information."
"O kay...I tell the General, yo." Major Fro went over to a phone and dialed the General number. "Yo, General, there is a ship called Fall of Fate, and it gouts some infoooo, on the ring world call Halo. It could destroy everything. Lets board the ship and get the infooooo, yo. This call will self destruct in five seconds." Major Fro hung up. BOOM!
"Was that an explsion?" Smallcock asked.
"No." Major Fro lied.
"Oh yeah, the Grunt also said some stuff about new flavor Camel Light cigs." Smallcock said.
"You know, the camel on the cover is actually a horse with a tumor." Dickword said.
"yes it issss..." Major Fro said. "And tell Alpha Lance that he shouln't be lazy and to look over his story, yo."
Josh Ferguson a.k.a Alpha Lance sits in his easy recliner from lazy boy in front of an open OUT OF CONTROL fire. "There you have it. That was my side story for chapter 7 of Halo Trilogy. You can also see the stupidity in this story, but remember, the Marine Corps. are respected people, I respect them a lot. Also remember, smoking and doing drugs is not cool, so stay drug free. Now leave me alone as I go call the fire department."