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Fan Fiction

Week 2 in the life of a noob
Posted By: Wasabe<modemboyii@msn.com>
Date: 29 August 2005, 6:06 pm

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Day 6

Well, I've played five games so far and I'm not sure I'll ever understand this game. But I'm having fun anyways, so today I figured I'd give it another shot. . .

So the game starts out, and we are on Relic. Right away some kid on my team asks "Hey does anyone want to boost with me?" Well I'm not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds cool. So I ask him what he is talking about, and he says: "Boosting, you know, getting to a higher level". Ooohhh, ok, I get it now! This must be like "de-leveling", only we go up instead of down. And it's always good to be on higher ground, so I reply "Sure dude, sounds cool. Should I get on your shoulders, or do you want to get on mine?" Now for some reason he gets all frustrated and says "No, I mean let's raise our levels by boosting". Ummm, isn't that what I just said? So I reply "Yeah, get on my shoulders and I'll give you a boost, then you can get up to a higher level."

Well now he is getting really frustrated, and he says "Ahh forget about it. Let's try something else - can you stand-by?". So I tell him "Yeah, that's no problem, I do it all the time. Want me to do that now?". But he tells me to wait until we get into their base and then stand by. Now I'm not so sure his plan will work, so I ask for a little clarification, "What good will that do?". And he replies "well then you can kill them and they can't hurt you". Hey this sounds great, I've been looking for a way to kill the other team! Well, I follow him to their base, and he yells "stand-by now!" So I immediately stop moving, but my teammate yells again "hurry man, stand-by now!". So I tell him "What do you think I'm doing dude! I'm not moving, I'm standing by this rock just like you told me!" Obviously he didn't know what he was talking about though, because at that point the other team just walked right up to me and killed me.

I guess that made him really mad, because then he starts really yelling, "You're such a stupid retard! Are you a noob or something?!". Dang it, there's that word "noob" again, everyone seems to be using it, I wish I knew what it meant. . . Anyways, I tell him "I think I might be a noob combo", but I guess he lost his connection or something because he quit at that point. Oh well, hopefully he'll find someone else to give him a boost.


Day 7

So I start up a game today, and I know that I really need some help, so I ask if anyone can help teach me how to play. Well fortunately there is a really nice guy on my team, and he tells me "Yeah sure, I'll help you out, just send me a friend request". Hmmm, that seems a little formal, but oh well, I'll play along.

So I ask "Can I be your friend?" But he gives me a kinda strange reply "Did you send me a friend request?". Uhh, didn't I just do that? Well maybe he didn't hear me, so I ask a little louder "CAN I BE YOUR FRIEND?". I'm not sure why, but apparently this gets him all frustrated and he starts yelling at me "Send me a friend request!" Well now I'm getting frustrated so I yell back, "I just did!"

At this point he tells me to forget it, he will send me a friend request. Ok, but I still don't understand why it has to be so formal. Can't we just be friends? So about 30 seconds later he asks me "Did you get my friend request?" Hmmm, I'm not sure how to respond to this. . . So I say really slowly and clearly, "Yes, I will be your friend."

Well now he is silent for a few seconds, then comes back and says something really funny: "hmm, I don't see you on my friends list". At this point I just had to laugh. This silly guy actually has to write down all his friends on a list! lol


Day 8

I'm not sure if I'm ever going to understand this game. But after today, I'm starting to think that maybe there is a problem with my xbox and that's why I'm having such a hard time playing. Let me explain.

I started another game up today, and it is "Team Slayer Human BR" on Coagulation. Hmm, this one is interesting, because I don't have my trusty SMGG gun. I'm not so sure about this Battle Rifle, but I figure I gotta learn sometime. So I start to head towards the other side of the map, and after a while I see an enemy jump out from behind a rock. We both start firing at eachother, but then my gun jams up on me after only a few shots! I swear I never had that problem with the SMG, I'd just press the trigger and it would fire away. But this stupid Battle Rifle! I press the trigger, and it starts to fire, but only after 2 or 3 shots it jams up and stops firing. =(

Well after the guy kills me, I respawn in front of our base, and then I see the coolest thing there - a jeep! But not only that, but the jeep has this awesome gun on the back of it! I bet I could really get some kills with that thing! So I go up to the jeep, and it says "Press X to drive Warthog". Hey that was easier than I thought. So I get in the driver's seat and I start to drive around, and sure enough I see an enemy in front of me. So I hit my trigger key to fire my big freaking gun, but it didn't fire! First my Battle Rifle doesn't work, and now my jeep's gun doesn't work. I thought that was horrible, but then out of nowhere this scary missle comes flying in and kills my cool jeep!

Now I'm really frustrated, this is going really badly. So after my respawn I get ready to do battle again, and then I hear one of my teammates say "Be careful, they have a ghost." Ooo, that sounds scary. I wonder what the ghost looks li- ahh! There it is! Sure enough, right in front of me I see that one of my teammates must have been possessed. He has the outline of MC, but he's all clear and I can see through him, just like a ghost. So I know that if I am to save my teammate, I must kill this ghost. So I go up to him and melee him right in the back of the head. Yes! I killed the ghost! It said I betrayed him, but I'm sure it was worth it to get that ghost out of him. Right?