I'm Coming Home
Posted By: The Meep<HaloFanatic101@yahoo.com>
Date: 9 December 2007, 5:40 am
I know I won't survive this drop. It's a gut feeling, something you never feel until you feel it, then you never feel it again. So strange. Like regret. That tug on your stomach that's almost like guilt, but falling just short, and becoming regret. And, let me tell you, it sucks ass.
From the moment the El-Tee punched through the orders to load up the pods, I knew I was screwed. How? I couldn't keep you off my mind. I was able to forget about you, push you away into a dark corner of my mind, to preserve it from insanity. I binded you to an imprisonment you didn't deserve. But, when Grovers came on, saying what the Commander had said, you broke free, and you're taking over.
Even now, I remember good days. Long days. Days spent just looking at each other's eyes, just holding hands, just hugging. Remember that time when I came back to Prosperity during my first leave? The field was perfect, unstained. Just miles of open pasture with tall wheat sprouting up all over. You looked so beautiful there, with your dark hair, green eyes. Destiny, I loved you so much. I wish that day could've lasted forever.
In a way, it does. In my mind, it still exists. I can still see the clouds drifting across a sapphire sky, the light zephyr pushing them along as we lay in the wheat, making objects out of their random shapes. Look, your pointing up at one. Car, you say? I think it looks like a boat. O, how I loved you.
I've never been able to accept you were gone. That's why I locked you up in my mind. Letting you out would drive me mad with longing. With regret.
That's what I'm feeling right now. If I had just delayed my leave. If I had requested transfer to the 101st out of Prosperity. If only... If only you were still here, still at my side, giving me strength to fight that which killed you.
The tension is killing me. I'm still waiting for the jets to kick in, for the thumps of my brothers falling before me. Still waiting for the free-fall, the vertigo, the disorientation. You're not helping. Your presence turns seconds into years. Minutes into millennia.
O, there it goes, down the line. There's five to me. El-Tee went first. There goes Padre. Ivers is next. Then Doc. Now me.
Time has stopped. Why haven't I gone yet? Why is the ship waiting? Why is it delaying my funeral? I know I will die before I hit dirt. I know that I will never see my planet again. My friends. Everyone will be a memory, even you. I don't know how, but I do.
Wait, here I go. The ship has finally sealed my doom. You've never been on a drop before, of course. You'd be too "purdy." El-Tee would give you the Pelican to ride down in.
I'm back on Prosperity with you. The sky is so beautiful, just like you. I roll over next to you, gazing into your eyes. The whole world is gone, just you and me, alone. Our fingers entwine on the ground, and we pull ourselves closer, becoming one. Love is the glue. You and I, the pieces.
The shakings started. My HEV just hit the top of the atmosphere, and it's starting to get a little warm in here. I know I'm just seconds away from my doom, I can already tell. The gut feeling has been replaced with a blinking warning on my screen. How emotionless it must be, to display the death of a Helljumper seconds before, almost tauntingly.
No, don't cry. Yet, a tear still rolls down your cheek. Why are you crying? I'm coming home. I brush the tear off your pale cheek, trying my best not to loose my own. Don't cry, I'm almost home.
The screen just blinked off. I can feel air now, coming through the cracks in the HEV. It must be strong, I can feel it even through my suit. My chute won't activate. How funny. I was right: this drop would be my last.
My tear dislodges itself, rolling down my cheek as we lie in the grass. Now it is your turn to brush it off. Don't worry, I'm coming home.
The pod's breaking up now. The second chute activated and tore the rest away. Now there's only me, and the skeleton of a frame still left. Not my kind of coffin, but what could any ODST ask for in death?
Please, don't cry. This is a happy time. I want to pull you close, to clench you in a tight hug, and to never let go. I won't ever let you go, Destiny. Be patient, I'm almost there.
I can see the ground now through the pod. I can count down the seconds until I hit. Just five more. Strange, I thought I would be scared. This is the only thing that frightens Helljumpers, right? Pod failure, death on impact. Yet, you cured my fear. You saved me from the despair that thickens the final moments of life.
See? Just a second away. Patience is all you need.
Destiny, I'm home.