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Code n 0 0 b: Chapter 2 - Gathering An Army
Posted By: Skul<skulkrusha2000@hotmail.com>
Date: 12 October 2006, 10:47 pm
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Code n 0 0 b: Chapter 2
lol we is now almust redy 2 tayk teh hbo plaize 4 gid almost tim!!!11! seded spanash spratna taht he laff evil!!11 o no wot is him going 2 d?o
Sitting in his office, hunkered down over his worktable, thedarkfire's nose wrinkled as he poured the gunpowder and gasoline into the fifth wedge of cheese. Gunpowder, gasoline and cheese mixing together do not make the most pleasant smell, but thedarkfire ignored it as best he could, as the cheese was his specialised weapon. He was able to mix the three substances together to make an extremely dangerous weapon – the Exploding Wedges of Cheese. They were excellent stealth weapons, too. After all, who would expect cheese to explode, even if it smelled of gasoline? A few people said they would expect a gasoline-smelling wedge of cheese to explode, but darkfire knew that they were just saying that to spite him.
Squeezing the stopper back on the hollowed-out wedge of yellow dairy goodness, the one made of dark fire placed it carefully inside his crate of exploding cheese. Their combined smell wafted up from the crate, wrapping around him like a blanket. thedarkfire's eyes started watering, forcing him to open a window and get out of his office until the smell dissipated.
zomg we haf 2 starrt gettin teh forsas redy for atak on hbo!!1! sed spanihs spratan he grined evaly and luked ovur at him spshal choob taht cuntaynd.................... u wil had 2 wait nd c!!!!!!!!! ;)
The Arbitress' nuclear reactor powered humvee came screeching to a halt at her reserved parking space inside the Moderator Car Park. She had just barely escaped from fanboys who, as usual, were amazed that a girl played Halo. They constantly asked her for a date, thinking that because Halo was a 'common interest', she would want to sleep with them based on just that. The Arbitress had managed to keep them at bay with her Energy Sword, but their loud jabbering in the shapeless language known, among other things, as 'AOL talk' caught the attention of many more scruffy, pre-pubescent males running to the scene, many with their faces painted like the Master Chief's helmet. They poured out of buildings, flooding the streets and alleys. Very few roads were left open and the fanboys were closing in quickly.
Luckily, The Arbitress' humvee was parked only a few feet away. The nuclear reactor that powered her large, grey vehicle allowed her to escape the small-minded fanboys in a flash. She zoomed down the rapidly filling streets, scattering the fanboys in her path. They attempted to give chase, but were so uncoordinated that they ended up running into each other and falling over, cursing.
As they were fumbling to get up, a silhouetted figure stepped into view, his features partially hidden in shadow by the setting sun blazing behind him. The fanboys turned their heads, frowning at the newcomer. The stranger pointed at them and said, stfu an lissan noobs!!!!11
The Arbitress stepped out of her humvee. The ornate silver armour she wore gleamed, reflecting the glare from the circular ceiling-mounted lights. She took a deep breath, inhaling the lingering odour of premium plus gasoline, and exhaled, glad to be far away from the fanboys. As she walked to the nearby elevator, she shook her head in amazement. All she had wanted was a bottle of Romulan Ale – which was actually Listerine mouthwash – and had ended up getting mobbed by fanboys as soon as they learned she played Halo. The found this out the moment they saw her armour, which was an exact replica of the Arbiter's.
Arbi... she thought dreamily, drinking the 'Romulan Ale' and waiting for the elevator.
Mark25 sat at his computer, responding to a recent fanfic, mentioning numerous times how illogical many elements of the fic were. Skul had jokingly suggested to Mark that he should get a pair of Vulcan ears.
"You're 'Mister Logic', aren't you? Why not get the image to go with it? Get some Vulcan ears and maybe start plucking your eyebrows. Hell, get a Starfleet uniform, too!" Skul had said, grinning.
The bone-headed member woke up in a trashcan outside HBOFF half-an-hour later with a splitting headache. Ark Night was the one who found him and pulled the garbage-smelling member out of the cylindrical refuse receptacle.
"What did you do this time?" asked Ark, wrinkling his nose at the smell.
"I told Mark he was always too logical," replied Skul, leaning against the bricked exterior wall of the HBOFF building.
"Mark doesn't seem like the kind to knock people out and throw them in trashcans for that kind of thing. He's crazy, but not that crazy! What else did you say?" asked Ark, folding his arms.
Skul scratched the back of his head, about to relate what he had said, when he yelled out as he accidentally raked his fingernails over the sensitive bump half-hidden under his short hair.
"Ow! Damn it, ow! Shit!" profaned Skul, touching the bump lightly and drawing his hand away sharply, as though it burned, "Ow… anyway, I said to Mark that he should get some Vulcan ears and--"
Ark cut him off, "You had to go too far, didn't you, Skully-boy? Mark's sensitive about his logic, don't you know? Didn't I tell you not to make fun of it?"
"Well, actually… no, you didn't."
"I didn't? Damn. Well, I'll do that now. Don't make fun of Mark's logic. He's sensitive about it."
"Alrighty…" replied Skul, nodding and followed Ark back into the building.
spaisnh spartan loked arund him an dthot I ened mor troops so he is went owt nd fund a lot of ppl he ask em who they are an thay saty thay hayt reedin coz its 4 loosers wot r stoopedso spniash spartan pratnedid he hated 2 reed 2 and gotem to joyn hos armee uf n00bz!!1!1!!!!!! thay wud bee yoosfool coz they wuz a bit of smrt but nto as smatr as him but smurter then must of him n09b armee thay wud bee yoosfool!!!1111!1
Night was falling and most of HBO's members and staff were leaving, BlasTech among them. He passed Jillybean's office, which, like all other Moderator offices, had a gold plaque with their name engraved in it on the door. Under her name, Jilly had added a small, handwritten note saying 'I do NOT look like Cortana!'
Dave noticed that her office's light was still on. He thought it odd, since she had usually left by this time. He stopped by her door and leaned his huge Ban Hammer against the sturdy oak panelling. Peering closely, he could very vaguely make out a shape through the frosted glass. Rapping lightly on the door, he called out, "Jilly? Is that you in there?"
"Yeah," came her reply.
"You leaving, soon?"
"Maybe in a little while. I'm gonna stick around here for a bit."
"Okay, see you tomorrow."
Jilly's faint, blurry image waved a goodbye to him and Dave returned the gesture before hefting up his Ban Hammer and continuing on his way to the exit.
Inside her office, the walls almost completely hidden under numerous photographs – one of which was a picture of she and The Arbitress in the HBO Tavern – Jilly worked away at her new, as yet, unpublished site. It was still far from complete, but she worked on it whenever she could. What she was creating was not a fansite, but rather a hatesite for the one thing she despised more than anything else – Cortana. To Jilly's knowledge, her site was the only one dedicated entirely to hating the blue-purple hologram.
This'll teach her to steal my lipstick! That bitch! thought Jilly, angrily.
Outside, hiding in the shadows of the night, a figure watched Jilly through the window of her office, spying on her for no real reason. As the figure continued to peer in, just outside the radius of light beaming through the window, a thought formed in the slow mind.
she loks lyke curtana lol!!Q!!1
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