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Code n 0 0 b: Chapter 6 - Quite A Catch
Posted By: Skul<skulkrusha2000@hotmail.com>
Date: 29 February 2008, 1:40 am
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Code n 0 0 b: Chapter 6
INT. HBOFF BUILDING - DAY
"NO!" yelled the audience.
"Sorry…" apologised Skul.
Imperorator_Jon entered the Story Archive, totally unaware of the anti-readers and fanboys hiding behind a bookshelf.
"Okay, there's one of them," whispered lolwtf-1, "I'm going out there. If he comes over here, pretend you're looking for a… a book… to… ugh… read."
lolwtf-1 took a deep breath and then walked out into the open.
Seeing something out of the corner of his eye, Jon turned his head and caught sight of a solitary figure who walked as if he wasn't too comfortable being inside the Story Archive.
"Hey!" Jon called out.
lolwtf-1 stopped and turned.
Okay, this is it… he thought.
"Haven't seen you around, before," said Jon.
"…Uh, yeah. I'm… I'm new," lolwtf-1 replied.
"Oh, then welcome!"
"Uh, thanks," said the lolwtf skwod leader before turning away and pretending to look through fanfics lining a nearby wall.
"Looking for something to read?" asked Jon.
The anti-reader's jaw clenched and he balled his hands into fists briefly. Acting as if he hadn't heard, lolwtf-1 continued to feign interest in the fanfics.
"I know a couple of good fics you might enjoy," said Jon, walking over to what he thought was a new member.
"Okay…" said lolwtf-1 through clenched teeth. He looked over his shoulder at the others and raised his eyebrows. The lolwtf skwod members understood and started to also feign interest in the many various fics in the Story Archive.
Jon reached the skwod leader and looked over at the others.
"Oh, there's more of you," said the HBOFF member with slight surprise, "More members every day, heh. Anyway, let's see. There's a few good fics in this very bookshelf. Where are they?"
"I don't want to bother you. Just tell me the names and I'll find them myself," said lolwtf-1, forcing himself to hold back a punch he wanted to throw at Jon.
"No, no, I don't mind helping new members."
The doors of the Story Archive opened and the fanboy lolwtf-1 had sent down to hide the n00bs earlier walked in.
"Hey, skwod leader!" said the fanboy, totally oblivious to the fact that there was someone he had never seen before standing next to lolwtf-1, "I hid the n00bs in the garage like you said."
Jon looked from the fanboy to lolwtf-1, to the fanboy and back again.
"What did he just say?" asked Jon, jerking a thumb towards the fanboy.
"Uh… I… I have no idea. Kid, what are you talking about? I don't even know you."
"Sure you do!" said the fanboy, not picking up the visual messages on his skwod leader's face, "I'm part of your skwod sent in by—"
"I have no idea who you are or what you're talking about, so shut up!" yelled lolwtf-1.
Jon slowly backed towards the door, "I just remembered something, so, uh… I got to… a thing I have to do…"
lolwtf-1 stared at him for a moment, then cried, "Get 'im!"
Wasting no time, Jon drew his sidearm and pointed it at the approaching anti-readers. They stopped, not wanting to risk getting shot.
The fanboys simply stood watching, jaws agape, at the scene before them. It was almost like something out of a movie.
The fanboy nearest Jon, who was close to the door, started to insert his own 'action music' by saying "dun dun da daaa, da da da daaa da" over and over.
Everyone slowly looked over at him and he quickly stopped.
"Don't just stand there, idiot," cried lolwtf-1, "Get 'im!"
The fanboy looked at his leader, then to Jon and back and said "Okay!"
He rushed forward and was knocked down when Jon shoved him back with his hand without losing his aim at the anti-readers.
"Well, what are you going to do? Kill us all?" asked lolwtf-1.
"No, you're more useful to us alive," replied Jon.
The HBO member backed up towards a wall-mounted intercom.
He pressed the red button and spoke, "This is Imperorator_Jon. I've got some intruders here in the Story Archive. Apparently, there are also some n00bs hidden in the garage."
"Roger that, Jon. Security is on its way."
Jon released the button and watched the lolwtf skwod carefully. The anti-readers did not react and just glared. The fanboys got bored standing around and sat on the floor.
The security guards soon appeared and took the members of lolwtf skwod out of the Story Archive.
"Did you get the n00bs?" asked Jon.
"We've sent some guys down to the parking garage. We'll have them, soon," replied a guard.
Jon nodded and the security guard left with the others. When the doors closed, the HBOFF member started looking through the updated fanfics.
"Stop laughing! Shut up!" cried Syotica.
"lulz!!1! j00 r teeh sux!!11!" slobbered the n00b, sitting handcuffed on a chair.
"Just tell us who sent you, already!"
"rofl sum guy rofl!!1!!!11"
Syotica sighed. The anti-readers refused to speak and the fanboys had no idea what was going on. The only ones left to interrogate were the n00bs. Syotica had a feeling the n00bs weren't going to be much use to them.
"Alright, take him away," said Syotica to the guard.
Just as the guard was leading the n00b back to its cell, the door opened and an out-of-breath Mainevent stumbled in.
"Sorry I'm late," he puffed.
"Where you been?" asked Syotica, looking over his shoulder.
"I couldn't log in for a while."
"Well, you wanna give this n00b a try?" asked Syotica, nodding his head over at the n00b who was standing by the guard, "I can't get anything out of it."
"Alright. Sit it down."
The n00b let itself be lead back over to the chair and sat down.
"Alright, n00by," said Mainevent, "Let's talk."
"kk"
"First, I would just like to get to know you. I'm going to ask a bunch of questions… and I want to have them answered immediately."
"Please don't do Schwarzenegger references…" said Syotica.
"Sorry," Main turned to the n00b, "You like to play Halo, right?"
"no lol"
"What? No?"
"lololollololol!!!!1!"
Mainevent gave the n00b a mild slap.
"owwwwww!!!!!1!!1"
"Let's try again."
The n00b looked angrily at the HBOFF member.
"Now, my young n00b. What do you like to play?"
"pokémon!"
"Pokeyman! Pokeyman, with the Pokey and the Man and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing, and he makes a fraaagh fr fra aagh aagh aagh!"
"The hell was that?" asked Syotica.
"Um…"
"Well, that bout of craziness didn't do anything."
"It could have…"
"Yeah, but it didn't."
"True."
"Look, we'll try again, later. They'll break."
"Wait, didn't we find a radio on one of them?"
"Yeah?"
"Couldn't we maybe… radio out and try to trace the source of the incoming transmission?"
Syotica thought for a moment.
"Maybe. I'll have to talk it over with the other Moderators. Don't try anything until then."
"Sure, sure."
"where iz tehy??/??!?!!11!!??!11" sout spnish sptarna. "dey soud b her buy now"!!111!! "sont wury sur sed an humbal minyin "i am shore dey iz on awy bak!!1!" "yes I fink u r rite tanks 4 enkurijment faytful minin!1!!!!" and spinach spratatan huged teh minyin " we r conkur emn!!1!!!"
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