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Babylon HIgh Day 2
Posted By: Shurmanator<dyshurman@gmail.com>
Date: 27 August 2009, 1:23 pm

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>>>////ONI Transmission >>>////Priority Alpha Record Log- Journal Excerpt
>>>////Project Babylon - WARNING: TOP SECRET EYES ONLY
Western Long Island, New York
Earth- 2701
1946 Hours
Mission Clock: Day 2

I'm not going to even bother to attempt to explain today in words. Lets just head right to the memories, shall we?


I woke up in the morning fairly confident that I had at least a basic idea of Babylon High. Having finished off the day before with several more boring explanations about course goals (excluding the memorable time in Combat Training class), I assumed that today the real work would begin. I wasn't sure how I felt about not seeing Atas' Valum anymore (after all, that escapade during lunch pretty much insured his expulsion from the program), but I was positive that I was not the least bit excited for Day 2 of Babylon High.

The second day started off the same as the first. I arrived at Babylon High in my Mom's car, me being the only one to do so, because I was the only student in the school who was actually from Long Island. I walked up the drab courtyard to the front doors. Then I walked through the front doors. Then I walked to the administration desk. Then I walked to me pre-determined seat (117) in the auditorium portion of the lobby. Then I waited for ten minutes. Then the Sangheilli students walked in. Then they sat down. And then Atas' Valum sat next to me.

I did a double take to make sure it was him, but sure enough, there he was, in all his big fucker glory. After staring at him for a good twenty seconds, he finally noticed and turned to me.

"Is something wrong, Kenneth?" he asked, sounding puzzled.

"Uh..." I eloquently began, "yeah, something's wrong. Why are you here?"

Atas' ignored my rude tone, which I had gotten used to by now (I had only seen this Sangheilli offended by one thing, and that was Douchebag dumping a trayful of cafeteria slop on my lap), and responded. "I go to this school, remember?"

"Well, yeah," I said, "but I wouldn't think any more. I mean, you kinda beat the crap out of another student. True, I know you were in all my classes after lunch, but I figured that you would get expelled after school or something. Considering the importance of this social experiment thingy, I didn't think the whole "three strikes" system would apply."

Atas' seemed genuinely confused by my assumptions. "Well, Kenneth, you are right, I was confronted by Esteemed Cleric Vasu' Gedam and Co-Director Halsey, and they did ask me about our encounter in the cafeteria, but upon me explaining to them the reasons for my actions, they said that it was all alright."

"They just let you go?" I asked, astounded.

"Well, yes, I suppose you can say that. I do not believe I was ever captured in the first place, but assuming I was, the did let me go," Atas' replied.

"What happened to Douchebag?" I said, smothering a chuckle.


"Sorry, uh, the guy who dumped the food on me."

"Oh. I do not know. I saw him enter the Directors' office after I exited. I can only assume he was executed."

I spluttered I bit. "Executed?" I gaped, "What the hell?"

"Oh, I apologize," Atas' amended, "I forgot the customs are not the same on your planet. On Sangheillios, the wasting of food in order to insult a person results in death due to the scarcity of sustenance. What is the appropriate punishment for doing so on your planet?"

"Well, in high school, normally a rap on the knuckle and a reprimand, but in this place, I don't know." My head was immediately filled with several graphic images of the many methods of execution Douchebag could have faced. It made me smile, then cringe at my morbid tendencies. I shook off the thoughts and turned to face the holo-screen at the end of the rows of the chairs, which had just turned on. Atas', just as he had done yesterday, jumped to rapt attention and abandoned our conversation for the sake of the presentation.

I scarcely listened to the speakers, considering it was more of the same bullshit they fed us yesterday; eons of intergalactic peace, fruitful co-existence, that crap. I did pay enough attention to notice that there was no mention of the cafeteria incident yesterday.

Oh, so they're trying to keep in under wraps, I thought, bit of a useless gesture, considering the whole cafeteria saw it. Jeez, I wasn't even called up for questioning. How the hell do they run this school?

The opening speeches concluded, and it was time for us to head to our classes.

My first real day at Babylon High School (The Worst Social Experiment Ever) had just began.

After homeroom, we were all told to head to our classes. Considering Atas' had all of his courses with me, I just stayed with him. I wouldn't say we were friends, I mean I know he did a lot for me, but I barely knew the guy. It was just he was the only one I knew in this school, and I didn't want to be completely alone.

I won't bore myself with going back over the details of my math classes. It'll suffice to say that they were a lot harder than anything I'd ever done before, and that trigonometry sucks ass.

Human history was the same stuff as usual, but I've always been interested by history, so it was fun for me. I regretted the fact that it was dumbed down (in my eyes) for the Sangheilli's benefit, but I wasn't surprised by it. After all, most of these Sangheilli new less about Human history than a kindergartner.

The same was true for me in Sangheilli, history, however. I had read up on my basic stuff, I knew that they were a combat based people, very concerned about family honor, and that their true civilization had begun with the uncovering of Forerunner relics on their homeworld. After that they met the San'Shyumm, shit went down, there was a war, more shit went down, they joined the Covenant, even more shit went down, and that's pretty much it. There was that whole war with the Human Race that almost wiped us off the face of the universe, but I think everyone knows about that.

I was surprised to find out how much more there was to the Sangheilli race. Again, I'm not here to re-count a history lesson, but the highlights of my introductory class were very interesting. The ancient culture of the Sangheilli is vaguely similar to the warrior rituals of Human Mayan tribes, and their caste system today remains the same from the one used millennia ago.

After my lesson, I was looking forward to another day of learning Sangheilli history, but regrettably my anticipation was replaced with fear at having to face another lunch period.

I walked into the cafeteria as obscurely as possible considering there is only one entrance and exit to the room, and quickly power-walked over to the buffet line. I kept my head down as I gathered my food, and I quickly looked around for a place to sit. As soon as I lifted my head, up, however, I saw any number of eyes staring at me.

Ahhhh, fuck it, everyone remembers you from yesterday already, I thought, and I boldly walked through the staring masses and took my now apparently permanent seat across from Atas' Valum. As soon as I sat down, however, I began to notice that the looks trained on me were not ones of disdain and resentment, as they had been yesterday, but rather ones of fearful respect. I also observed that everyone was all too keen, at least everyone of my species, not to look directly at Atas'.

Shit, did I just get associated with the baddest motherfucker in school? Damn, that's a first.

I glanced at Atas' to see if he was noticing this newfound respect and fear, only to find him staring almost fiercely at a Sangheilli table a few dozen meters away. More specifically, staring at one particular member of that table.

Up until now, I had not mentioned the differences between sexes of Sangheilli. I only do it now because it seems important at this point in the day. Female Sangheilli, if you want to tell them apart from males, have thin, low, shoulders, wide, gentle eyes, are proportionally short in stature, and, most obviously, have a small ridge running along the top of their head to the apex of their spine. Males are pretty much the opposite; broad shoulders, narrow, unforgiving eyes, tall forms, and no ridge on the head. I'm also guessing the female Sangheilli had... um... lady parts, but I really wasn't to keen to find out. I'll leave the kinky inter-species stuff to sick druggies on acid trips.

Anyway, guess which sex Atas' was staring at.

I was so relieved to not be the only one with problems (I assumed Atas' was having a problem with this girl because she was sitting at that table, and not at ours), that I didn't even bother with tactfulness.

"So..."I said with as much of a sly inflection I could muster, "what are you staring at?"

"That Human over there appears to be sucking up milk through a straw into his nasal cavity. Why do you suppose he is doing that?" Atas' asked.

I looked again, and sure enough, next to the female Sangheilli's table, clearly occupying Atas's full attention, was some dude sucking up milk into his nose through a straw like a fucking third grader.

Aww, fuck, now I'm the only one with problems again. Fucking Atas' and his non-existent scandalous love life...

"Cause he's a retard," I sighed.

Atas' nodded in understanding and got to work on his meal of wriggling orange grub worms.

After lunch, it was time for me to head to Combat Training with Atas'. Now, yesterday Combat Training, which was by far the most interesting class I chose, was pretty much a free period. No teacher was on station in the gymnasium where it was to be held, and the students (mostly Sangheilli, though there were a couple of my species there as well) were left to their own devices by the absence of authority.

It was quite different when we entered the room, however. As soon as I walked into the gym, I noticed it was dark. Very, very dark. As in no windows, and no lights dark. Shortly after that, something very hard and very fast smacked me in-between the shoulder blades. It was rather much like being hit with a large hover-truck. I fell on my back and promptly crawled into a fetal position, moaning in agony. The lights were turned back on.

I looked around to see myself and the rest of the Humans in the room (about six) rolling around in agony on the floor. The eighteen or so Sangheilli were all standing up, however, across from much larger and older Sangheilli teachers. The teachers were holding double-ended staffs, and the students were gripping one of the ends. It was apparent that there was one teacher for each of us, they had ambushed us in the dark, and all of the Sangheilli were able to catch the attack and block it. The Humans in the room (my brethren, oh what a magnificently athletic species we are) were not so lucky.

The Sangheilli instructor standing over me, a gruff withered Sangheilli who looked like he could give Atas' a run for his money in a fight, held out a hand for me to take.

"Up, Human scum. If I were holding a true weapon, you would be lying in bloody ribbons right now."

"And if I was," I coughed, "a big fat lawsuit would be dropped on your ass."

Obviously, that earned me a sharp rap on the head with the staff, which seemed like its ends were filled with cement.

"Okay, okay, I'm getting up..." I whimpered.

After all the Humans in the room were cleared for the class (by that I mean they had no fatal injuries, at least no visible ones), two of the Sangheilli instructors nodded to the others, and they filed out of the room. That left about 25 students with two bad-ass Sangheilli combat veterans, one of them being the guy who smacked me in the chest, the other looking so old and jacked that I wouldn't be surprised if he fought in the Human-Covenant war.

We were all given ceremonial combat armor (the Human version was decorated the same as the Sangheilli but tailored to fit our bodies) and told to circle up around a foam ring in the middle of the gym. Holo-safety fences formed the circumference of the ring.

One of my fellow Humans remarked as the jacked Sangheilli teacher helped him put on his armor, "Hey, how come we didn't get this stuff before you smacked us when we walked in?"

He was immediately smacked on the head with the staff again.

"If you were," answered Jacked Bad-Ass Motherfucker Alien Dude (JBMAD), "I would have just hit you upside the head, welp. Now circle up!"

JBMAD's partner, Guy Who Smacked Me Upon My Entry Into Combat Training Class (GWSMUMEICTC) stepped into the ring and yelled at us to listen up.

"In this room, all of you, Sangheilli and Human, are to abide by the ancient rules of Sangheilli Combat. Your strength will be tested, your speed will be tested, your endurance will be tested, your wit will be tested, and most of all, your honor will be tested. My name is Geto' Endam, and this is my mentor, Keno' Matrum. You will obey our every command, you will internalize our every word. You will now swear to uphold the laws of Sangheillios."

This last command prompted all the Sangheilli in the room to proclaim, "EVEN TO OUR DYING BREATH."

I quickly muttered out of the corner of my mouth, attempting to follow, "Evetouou dying breath. Yeah. To our dying breath! Yeah!"

JBMAD looked at me with a gaze that could melt steel. I quickly looked at my feet, willing them to take me somewhere were I would not be brutally murdered by JBMAD and GWSMUMEICTC. My feet, being the dickheads that they are, did nothing.

Anyway, GWSMUMEICTC, or Geto' Endam, or whatever, finished off his speech.

"Welcome to Combat Training. Prepare for hell."

Pardon the pun, but I sure as hell was not prepared for hell.

I stumbled out of Combat Training class in a daze. I had felt pain before; that experience is one of the many downsides of being a human, but this was different. It's not that the pain was particularly worse than anything I'd dealt with, it was just that the pain seemed to have spread everywhere. Every bit of my body ached, and that's not an exaggeration. The intense exercises that JBMAD and, uh, damn I forgot my acronym for him, anyway, the exercises that JBMAD and other Sangheilli put me through left me with a dull, permeating ache covering my entire body. Judging by the grimaces on my fellow Humans' faces, I guessed they weren't feeling much better. The Sangheilli, however, especially Atas', looked like they had just woken up from a rather pleasant nap.

I was beginning to envy those guys.

Still, a small feeling of calm began to grow inside me. The day was almost half over, and I had not seen any hint of Douchebag and his gang of stereotypical high school delinquents. I was dreading him, or his gang, coming to get revenge on me for Atas' little demonstration of Sangheilli temper in the cafeteria yesterday, and the fact that I had not seen nor heard of any plots to beat the shit out of me only increased my relief.

The rest of my day was equally uneventful. I went to Science, where I got a good look at the inside of the Sangheilli brain through some holo-images. After that I finished the day with a nice relaxing psychological course about the Sangheill. I say relaxing because the dull, constant pain all over my body finally broke my conscious self and I drifted off to sleep next to Atas' in the back of the lecture hall.


That was it for the second day. Now I'm going to sleep. I know its barely eight o'clock, but my chest hurts like a bitch.

Fucking JBMAD and his now acronym-less sidekick.