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Babylon High (The Worst Possible Social Experiment Ever) Prolouge
Posted By: Shurmanator<dyshurman@gmail.com>
Date: 10 August 2009, 1:35 am

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>>>////ONI Transmission >>>////Priority Alpha Record Log- Journal Excerpt
>>>////Project Babylon
Western Long Island, New York
Earth- 2701
0700 Hours
Mission Clock: 0 Hour

High school. Perhaps one of the only places in human history that has been called "the best years of your life" and "hell". Usually in the same sentence. From the 20th century until modern times, high school has been a place of social awkwardness and segregation that would make any civil rights activist run for the hills... or an easier assignment. All I can say is, Gandhi never had to unite a high school.

My name is Kenneth J. Adams. And I am officially now a part of the greatest social experimentation in the history of man. And in the history of another species.

It has been approximately 175 Earth years since the war between the human race and the Covenant started. Everyone knows how that turned out, the Sangheilli turned against their masters, sided with humanity, and together we kicked the crap out of the rest of the Covenant. The galaxy was saved, blah blah blah hero worship etc, etc.

Of course, once all this ended, and billions of people were caught up in the relief of just having avoided the extinction of the human species, some brilliant economist somewhere (if there is a heaven, and if I go there when I die, I am going to find this economist and beat the crap out of him) thought it would be a brilliant idea to open up trade with the species that had just tried to exterminate our race. Sure, the Sangheilli had been brainwashed by a bunch of religious zealots, but they still killed a shit-load of people, I guess everyone must have forgotten that. Anyway, after about 50 years of tedious politics my adolescent brain is far to underdeveloped to put up with (I failed Civics), the Sangheilli finally gave in to the pressure brought about by the trade prospect of artificially preserved ice cream and chocolate (which, apparently, both act as aphrodisiacs to the Sangheilli, bit of a disturbing mental image there) and opened up trade.

It is now 125 years later, and Sangheilli are pretty much a normal part of human life. Humans work, and even sometimes live, on their colonies, and they live on ours. Its not all rainbows a butterflies though, there's still the fact that they killed billions of people, and that they're, you know, aliens... but on a professional level, humanity and Sangheilli get along well.

Apparently, the powers that be (our government), have decided its time for the professional relationship to become an intimate one, and they've invited the chick back to our place, if you don't mind the crude metaphor. After 25 years of intense negotiating, humanity has managed to arrange a deal with Sangheilli leaders to start up a high school, for humans and Sangheilli teenagers.

That's right.

A high school.

I swear, despite what they're teaching us in science, the human brain is de- evolving.

The damnable reasons behind this incredibly intelligent decision are numerous, but the mean one is that if a truly peaceful coexistence is to be in effect between human and Sangheilli, the two species must be raised to like each other. And of course, that means the government turns to the back-up plan. Teenagers. Every time adults are too stupid to figure stuff out for themselves, they turn to teenagers. I guess they figure that if they raise the next generation to do the right thing, then all the problems the current generation has lumped on themselves will be solved in the future. (Some Examples: The Green Revolution, the Campaign to Unite all World Governments, the Rebel Excursions) Now, they figure setting up a co-species high school will do the trick.

Obviously, Babylon High School (Brilliantly Tactful name, all I can say is I hope a remotely intelligent Sangheilli doesn't get a hold of a bible and translate it) is a prototype. The dawn of a new era. If this school is a success, then more will spring up and before you know it we'll have interbreeding... ugh. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Sangheilli. I think they're an extremely intelligent and honorable species, far more so than us at this point. I pity them for being sucked up into this. They deserve better than this cheap political move to get them more involved in trade by making them feel "more akin to the human race."

I started this journal because today is my first day starting this high school. I was selected, along with 500 other kids at random, to be apart of the "revolution" (I feel like I'm off to march in a parade with Lenin). This is it. 0 hour. I'm just finishing up thought-keying this as my Mom parks up in front of Babylon High.

Well, at least it wasn't a Human- Unggoy school. It would have sucked to have food nipples for lunch.