Posted By: Grizzlei<email@example.com>
Date: 12 December 2015, 6:46 pm
Tul contains minor spoilers and themes from the recently released novella, Halo: Shadow of Intent, by Joseph Staten. Set some days before the opening events of the novel, Tul was written as a short companion piece in a journal-like format for me to better understand the titular character's backstory and motivations within the novella. This is my first fan fiction piece I have written in quite some time for Halo so please email me with any criticisms or recommendations you may have. Thank you for reading and please enjoy!
I am no one.
So long as this world is concerned.
For my kaidon, eedahyuhkoh, and countrymen, this Great Schism is a new page. Once more we are independent. No longer will be victim to alien tyrants; all manipulative, seemingly pragmatic, and outwardly admiring false prophets. We are Sangheili. But as a woman, am I?
This illusion of freedom is as real today as it was underneath the Prophet's limp grip. I can claim no land. Dominions of House Juran far and wide are not mine to rule. I am forced to sit idly by as my brothers, old and young, converse endlessly in one another's company over how they would lead these keeps. Our world, Rahnelo, will be respected, feared, and modeled after, they say. She will be free.
Yet I am unheard. They acknowledge, even respect me to an extent, but they look through me. To them I am a passing monolith. Am I merely the daughter of a kaidon? It is expected of me to be a proud warrior appreciative for scraps of honor? Is that all I am? I am mere fodder for my father's political and martial whims. Of all my eedahyuhkoh I am his only daughter and yet I take our kaidon's given name. Am I not his legacy equally?
Captain of his guard, scion of his keep? Makes me sound important. I continue to spout this drivel to myself. How much longer will I utter these words so they seem tangible? Why can I not simply be Tul?
My kaidon could marry me off without hesitation. Or, he could send me to the depths in some forlorn attempt at peace. Same as all the others. They are going to get me killed either way. None can guarantee my safety.
No one but me.
I will not challenge the order. What my brothers have before them is theirs. I simply cannot wither away as a daughter, a wife, a mother, and be nothing else without definition. Our records have no subtext to female kind. We are who we are as the gods blessed. Who are anyone but our creators to say what I am able of and what is forbidden? Only they know what my life's trial is. Only I can define it. I will not allow any male to sully that.
We hear fire off in the distance. Across the celestial sea and keeps away, war cries out and gasps for its waking breath. Same as usual. These bloody years ahead will ensure my place.
To hell with it all. I am leaving Rahnelo.
Only my past and promises still reside on this rock. I will go where a soldier and her arms are demanded. If no order is willing to employ me, then I desire to continue forward for my sisters exclusively. The old ways remain in this promised new day. No woman can assume freedom is a guarantee. We must achieve it for ourselves.
Be proud of me, mother. I am sorry for having been such a burden in my youth. Take comfort that I would not be at this juncture if you were not my idol. Father, I hope to define what it means to be a kaidon's daughter for myself. If the Sangheili are to be free, as you have told us, then I am implored to make that a universal truth. Your sister will always be your guardian, Teon-doas. If your ascension comes, be a wise and passionate leader for our kin, and try your best not to make your domos worry over you. Vyri-doas, Thel-domo, Batuu-domo, Sesa-domo, do not come looking for me. I am sure there are other girls you all want to chase after. Duru-domo, my dear eedahyuhk, surely I am not long for what lies beyond. Welcome me with your embrace.
Be well, my loves.
In Urs's everlasting light.