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Billy Was a Soldier
Posted By: A Halo Fan...natic<mikeandrewp@gmail.com>
Date: 26 October 2007, 3:14 am
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Billy was no soldier.
He was unathletic, skinny, had only once fired a gun--and that on accident--, wore glasses, was lazy, and was virgin. In other words, Billy was as far from soldier-hood as you could get.
Billy lived in his mom's basement. He lived a happy, simple life. He watched movies. He watched porn. He played games. Billy didn't care much for people. People were mean to him. So he ignored people.
Then there was a war. Billy didn't pay much attention - he was too busy watching Tri-Dee. So when the draft was started, he didn't notice. Even when he drew a low number, he didn't care.
So it came as quite a shock when he was hauled off to boot camp.
Billy hated boot camp. He was picked on by both the sergeants and other recruits, he was forced to run and exercise--things he hated to do--and generally had a bad time. He was forced to be neat, which he hated, and he consistently got in trouble for being messy.
He became addicted to tobacco during boot camp, and got in trouble constantly for smoking when he wasn't supposed to. He also took a liking to Tabasco, which he drowned his MRE's in to hide the taste. Billy made a few friends, but was still generally disliked by the other recruits. Billy still never saw women.
He enjoyed shooting, though he was no good at it. Once he accidentally fired his rifle at a drill sergeant's feet, taking a clip off the toe of the shoe. Billy had to run five miles and had reduced rations for a month.
Billy almost blew up his platoon during grenade practice.
During war simulations, Billy was always either the first or last person to die. He either was shot doing something stupid, or he hid in a hole till it was over. The drill sergeants despised Billy, and picked on him more than the other recruits.
But Billy survived, and when boot camp ended, Billy was given a badge like the other recruits. Billy was happy.
Then Billy was deployed.
The whole unit was shuttled up to Tycho Military Base, where they received low gravity training. They were trained in more esoteric weapons. Finally, they were sent on a parade for the citizens of Luna city.
Billy was a fine sight. Tall, strong, athletic, holding himself high, with an imperious look on his face. His drill sergeants had made him hold that pose for hours on end, so it came as second nature to him.
Billy had one week on Luna. He chased women. He managed to find one, named Jessica, who promised to marry him after he came back from the war. He wanted to sleep with her, but he never got a chance. She gave him a ring. Billy didn't care that it was just aluminum with cheap gold paint. It was the first time he'd gotten a gift from a girl who wasn't related to him. He promised to come back soon. Billy got his first kiss.
Then it was time to leave. They were put on board a shuttle, which took them to a large carrier ship. Billy was awed by the sheer size of it. They boarded the ship and spent a week doing nothing while others loaded.
The ship left for Fomalhaut.
Billy spent much of the time aboard ship thinking about Jessica, the feel of her as she kissed him, the way she moved. He spent a lot of time staring at the ring she'd given him. He held it so much that the gold paint wore off, but he didn't care.
The others ridiculed him, telling him that Jessica was a whore, each bragging that he'd slept with her for only ten bucks. Billy hated them for it. Billy didn't do anything about it.
They arrived in-system, and the ship immediately started bucking and dodging. Billy, who had proved resistant to free-fall sickness, developed a headache and started vomiting after only one hour of this. Finally, it was time to disembark and fight the enemy. They were loaded onto troopships and sent screaming into the atmosphere.
Billy was still nauseous, so he didn't remember much of the flight down. But eventually they landed. Billy stepped out onto the dirt, clad in the finest armor Earth could give him, a rifle clutched desperately in his hand. He gave the ring on his finger a quick good-luck squeeze.
Billy looked around the landing zone. He saw an alien, a small one. He yelled a warning and raised his rifle, just as he was trained. He snapped off two quick shots, ran forward, and fell stone dead with his head half gone.
Billy was a soldier.
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