We're doomed.... by llamaboy
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The great Journey-Part1(comedy)
Date: 17 October 2007, 2:53 am
John 117 stood alone in the hanger-bay of FFG-201 also known as foward unto dawn. He was about to turn the ship on when the arbiter came out of no where. "brother let me fight by your side" said the eight foot bundle-of-joy. While the chief was distracted by the arbiter a flood spore came and ate him. the end of chief...
But the arbiter's journey had just begun, he needed to reach the bridge of the ship so he can get off this really gay ring world.(takes master chief' gun) thanks biotch. (shoots the chief seven times) shit out of ammo... Knowing the flood had taken the ship he proceeded with caution (pokemon red version theme song starts playing) >you encountered a wild shittymon!<
FIGHT-ITEMS
SHITTYMON-RUN
FIGHT
ARBITER USED BITCH-SLAP!
SHITTYMON IS UNAFFECTED!
WILD SHITTYMON GOT BORED!
WILD SHITTYMON RAN!
"WTF was that?" said the arbiter.
Feeling proud of how he kicked the shittymon's ass he trotted along towards the bridge.
LA DI DA DI DA DA
Finally the bridge...
(opens door)
"whoa...hey baby whats your name?" said the arbiter as he examined a young earth officer.
"anything you want it to be sweety" then out of now where, guess what fag HAD to show up..no really guess... Captain Mother-fucking Keyes."get away from my daughter, im not going to let her get pregnant with ANOTHER alien baby."(said Keyes in a really, REALLY gay voice)
"Alright fag, i've heard enough of your bitching. I'm bringing your ass down!"
(final fantasy theme plays)
Keyes-Miranda, fight by my side so that we may crush this evil.(summons Miranda Keyes)
Arbiter-WTF??? two on one is a shitty deal..Oh wait! I have a secret weapon that will help me win this fight! (summons shittymon)
Keyes-Wrong game you stupid fuck! but whatever Miranda Keyes has higher hitpoints and speed than your shittymon..
Arbiter-It doesnt matter because shittymon's special ability allows him to tribute two monster cards in my hand in order to evolve into a powerpuff girl. So suek my balls n0oB.
Keyes-Arbiter...your so goddamn stupid its not even funny...
Arbiter- Fuck this, your not even playing by the rules. Lets just--(boom-boom)--WTF was That???
Keyes-It could be the sound of an ancient AI construct activating a weapon to kill all mankind! Or Miranda had too many burittos at lunch...
Miranda- Its not my fault I like to eat! You know what fuck both of you! Master Chief was paying
$30 for my *cough* services... But no! I had to come here and help you make this gay ass home movie and-wait what are you doing with that rope? seriously stop ahh!!!
Arbiter-Uhh, Miranda Keyes was so depressed that her father lost against the great and all powerful Arbiter >Fuck you i won!< that she decided to hang herself...then drown in a lake... and accidently spilled sour-cream ;) on her shirt while doing this...
Keyes- Arbiter alittle help here! she wont fucking die!!!
Arbiter- Wow, and you call yourself a man... I mean its so easy all you have to do is... holy shit your right... she wont die... hmm, ill go talk to the people and tell them stuff so they dont get bored and call the cops..
Arbiter-People everything is ok, we are trained professionals doing our jobs and you shouldn't try any of this at home >oh shit she got out!< What you just heard was a dramatic reeinactment of the battle of reach, in which the great Apache nation summoned a war god and destroyed the roman empire >no dont touch that!< (gun-shots) those were blanks and no one got hurt.
Keyes- Ow! my sack!
Arbiter- Ok people that was obviously fake because we all know Keyes doesnt have a sack.
Keyes- Now you just wait a minute!-um yeah..hes right people.. im not proud of the decision but i dont regret it.
I mean its fun, I always win at sports now, um i can cross my legs all the way,and when i get pulled over by a man-cop i spread my legs apart and go hey big boy...
Arbiter- OK! TOO MUCH INFORMATION DUDE. Whatever dude or uh,girl can we hurry up and finish the movie my camera is running out of battery
Keyes-We cant finish it retard! when the gun went off Miranda was accidently shot in the face twenty times.
Arbiter- You know its funny how there was only nine bullets in her gun...
Keyes- Ya i know...WEIRD
Arbiter- Yo chief, you want to be Miranda?
Chief- After the way you shot me earlier??? go fuck yourself!
Arbiter- why are we still using the name tag thingys?
Keyes- no idea...
"Ahh thats better" wait who said that? what??? now im confused! Do you want me to put the names back on...
Yes..No..Maybe..Yes
Arbiter-Ok now hopefully you can stop bitching
Miranda- Ok thanks
Keyes- Holy shit... I swear im going to fuckin kill myself dude..
Arbiter- Ok. This is why Bungie killed you off in the third game. Cuz your annoying like shit! Thats why theres a new person doing your voice in halo 3, the first chick fuckin killed herself! I mean really, stupid fuckin UNSC,"Chief go-shoot this guy" "Chief go blow the shit out of the anti-air gun" You know what! why dont you get off your ass and go blow the shit out of it yourself! no we dont need super soldiers, send this bitch out into battle and the brutes will fuckin shoot themselves!
Keyes-dude say sorry to her- you hurt her feelings
Arbiter-ok sure ill say sorry. then we can all sit in a circle and hold hands and singing really gay shit!
OK i got ya. I got your "sorry". I got your mother fuckin twenty mega-ton sorry. right here bitch!
Keyes- see you guys in part two...if we make it out alive...
(ps. Miranda Keyes really does kick ass so ignore my description of her.)
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