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The Adventures of Kirtap the Grunt by an old lady
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The...uhh...first part
Date: 5 June 2004, 11:04 AM
This story takes place on insane planet of doom, some things make no sense...oh well.Anyway, this is my firt story of Kirtpa, the grunt that goes through a series of adventures that have no point or purpose. Again, oh well.
Once upon a time a hunter exploded for no apparent reason and a grunt named Kirtap came out of its stomach. He had no brain and had a Dutch accent. An Elite walked by holding a plasma grenade. Kirtap ate him. Then, Kirtap went to a ghost and got in. He then remembered he couldn't pilot a ghost and jumped out just before it careened of a cliff. Just then, he saw a human in shining green armor. He didn't hesitate for a second and jumped on the human, and began gouging his eyes out with the spike-like things on its shoulders. After several minutes of stabbing, the human died from blood loss. Kirtap started eating his body when he jaw a Jackals shield laying on the geound. He activated it, placed the dead human in ot, and slid it down the cliff. After this, Kirtap proceeded with his daily routine by running around and flailng like an insane gorilla. After many hours, he passed out. When he woke up, he was asleep. Then he woke up...again...and tried to figure out where he was. Dead bodies of Covenant surrounded him. Blood was everywhere. A normal grunt would be scared and would wonder what happened. But not Kirtap, he was way to sttupid to care. Instead, he jumped off a cliff and realeased the parachute that i never mentioned he had. After falling for what seemed like hours, he landed in the middle of a lake. He swam to the shore, and was surprised at what he saw. Right there, staring at him, was a Flood infection form. Kirtap, who had never encounterd Flood before, decided to eat it. It tasted like crap, so he spit it out, then sterted walking in a random direction. He later encountered a group of covenant consisting of three gold elites, on black elite, and several grunts. All of which were Spec Ops, like him, He noticed all of the Elites had plasma swords. They asked him where he came from and Kirtap told the everythin that happened since he came out of the Hunter. Of course, they didn't belive him, but decided to let him join their squad, as they needed as many men as they could get, since the flood has been released because some dumbass didn't notice the sign that read "deadly speciels, do not release". One of the elites handed him a Carbine. But it was much smaller, so Grunts and Jackals could use them because grunts and jackels are stupid. Its power was only at 32%, so he pulled out his recharger(this is how Covenant "reload" plasma weapons). Then he heard the leading elite shout that enemies had been spotted. The Elites powered up thier plasma swords the other Grunts prepared for battle. Exept for Kirtap, who was smelling flowers. One of the Grunts warned Kirtap of the enemy threat, and Kirtap charged his mini-carbine and ran to assist the Elites.
More to Come...please reply with quistions or comments...Thanx.....i have just been informed i have to make the story longer so i will just talk...how come grunts methane tanks dont explode when you shoot them, methane is flammable, and another thing, when you strap a plasma grenade to a grunt, the will sometimes will say "not again!!!" how could it be not again if there going to die??? And on truth and reconcilliaton, how come Foehammer doesnt just fly you to the gravity lift. And on the library, how come the monitor doent just teleport you to the Index instead instead of maing you walk there......one night, i had a dream i ate a ten pound marsmallow and when i woke up i couldnt find my pillow......if prices at Wallmart keep lowering every day, how come nothings free yet??? Okay i need more words so heres a mini story of doom: One upon a time a flying pig exploded. A monkey named Balalalalala came out of it. He knew magic and ate a lot. Alex walked by holding a sack of nuclear powered hand grenades. Balalala ate him. Then, Balalalala went to the playground to play on the tire swing and nik and terrone came along and nik was eaten. Terrone tried to run away but Balalalala threw a cow at him then he ate him. He was walking to the BX when he saw Tucker hijacking a car. He turned him into edible, fish flavored dental floss and ate him. He flew to Hawaii and turned patrick into shaving cream and shaved his monobrow....wasnt that exiting?????????
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