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Fan Fiction

After Halo (bc) by Brent Carmichael

When Games Collide: The Tournament of the Century
Date: 31 May 2003, 7:38 PM

Postal 2 is property of Running With Scissors, Return to Castle Wolfenstein is property of id Software, Inc. And Halo is property of both Bungie and Microsoft (Don't want to get sued by ol' Bill!)

Chapter 1

The Postal Dude Gets Sucked

Paradise, Arizona- Present Time

Standing in line at the Lucky Ganesh, the Postal Dude had with him a shotgun, a machine gun, and a shovel, all of which he carries in his back pouch. The air surrounding him is hot and humid, and all the people in the whole city could be described in one phrase: "Jerks."
Earlier in the morning, the Postal Dude's wife had given him a list of errands to run. Ever since he's moved to Paradise, there's been nothing but rotten sin and bad luck. The Postal Dude moved there to work with the video game company in town, Running With Scissors, but after getting stoned pretty badly after the first day and barely remembering where the office was the next morning, they gave him his paycheck and coldly uttered the words "You're fired."
The bad luck hadn't ended there. Throughout the week, video game protestors opened fire in the Running With Scissors office complex, almost killing the Postal Dude. After that raid, he went to the Fee of America bank to cash in his check. He did, and after he received his cash, the bank was robbed by a group of men dressed in black suits and wearing skiing masks. Again, he escaped without a scratch. It seemed as if the Postal Dude had nine lives.
The next day, his wife made him take back her library book ("The B**** can't even read!" complained the Postal Dude) to the local library. And what a living Hell that was- literally. Inside the library, protestors protested against books saying that they were evil and continually shouted "Save a tree! Burn a book!" After returning the library book and paying a late fee of forty dollars, the protestors decided to burn the books- along with the library. Pouring gasoline all over the place, they lit a match and Hell was created. Again, as faith would have it, the Postal Dude escaped with his life with some "minor burns".
The line was moving slowly. Habib, the Indian owner of the Lucky Ganesh, watched everyone with an eagle eye. The Postal Dude decided to check his appearance. His black leather boots were finely shined, his blue jeans ironed, his dark green alien shirt was washed, his sunglasses were clean, his hair combed, his goatee shaved carefully, and his black leather trench coat finely pressed.
"Oh, yeah!" he said quietly to himself.
After about three minutes or so, the Postal Dude had moved up. You see, the Lucky Ganesh is the best place in Paradise to buy great international food. And nothing beats its infamous goat-collected Jihad milk, which the Postal Dude was in line to buy.
Noticing that the girl in front of him had her nose buried in a People's magazine, the Postal Dude saw this as the prime opportunity to cut in front of her. He first strafed left a little, and then walked forward, and strafed right, never looking at her face.
Well, she suddenly noticed that he made his way in front of her.
"Hey! Idiot!" she said, criss-crossing her arms to form a lower case "T" and giving the Postal Dude the finger.
"End of the line, infidel!" ordered Habib from behind his steel caged surrounding.
The Postal Dude moaned. "You gotta be f****** kidding!" And so he moved to the back of the line, two places behind where he originally stood.
But things didn't seem normal. A light breeze swooshed from behind the Postal Dude's back. Slowly turning around, he saw something that was by all means, abnormal, even by Paradise's standards. A black circle was forming out of thin air, and it was getting larger every second.
By now the entire store stopped what they were doing to look at the blue circle. Habib yanked out the Quran and started mumbling to himself.
The black circle had extended from the floor all the way up to the ceiling. Habib dropped the Holy book and yanked out his machine gun. A couple of people ran out of the store, screaming. But the Postal Dude kept his cool.
"What the..." he began.
He was never able to finish that sentence because out of nowhere, a huge gust of wind began sucking him into the circle.
He was unable to finish that sentence too because at the particular time, he was sucked inside the circle and spiraled his way into where no man's gone before.
As quickly as it had happened, it was over with. The black circle had shrunk down to nothing, and the Lucky Ganesh was as quiet as could be.
"It is Allah's wrath against you, infidel! Next in line please!" said Habib, after the Postal Dude was sucked.

Castle Wolfenstein, Northern Germany Mountains- 1943

Hiding behind a wall, B.J. Blazkowics was holding his Thompson with a firm grip, ready to jump out into the open and eliminate a squad of Nazi personnel. He checked his gun for ammo, and realizing that it was fully loaded, he hugged the wall, ready to jump out.
Without a trip or a fall, B.J. jumped out into the open...


Chapter 2

In Chapter 2, B.J. Blazkowics, famous ally war hero of World War II, finds himself in the oddest of all positions... (Game based off of: Return to Castle Wolfenstein)


We meet the Master Chief as he battles off a small Covenant platoon, but soon discovers things have just gotten worse. (Game based off of: Halo)

When Games Collide: The Tournament of the Century Chapter 2
Date: 2 June 2003, 1:14 AM


Hey there! =)

Before you begin reading Chapter 2 of "When Games Collide", I would just like to say sorry to some of you readers out there who found Chapter 1 to be a little confusing, some errors, and didn't exactly follow the Postal Dude's true dialogue from the game Postal 2. It was my first fan fic, so SHUT UP AND CUT ME SOME SLACK! Just playin' with ya! And hear me now and believe me later, Chapter 2 has corrected errors from Chapter 1. And later in the story, the Postal Dude's dialogue will remain true to his game, with some "subbing in" punctuation so the FanFiction.net doesn't come and lynch me for writing the Postal Dude's "actual dialogue". So, sit back, relax, and enjoy Chapter 2 of "When Games Collide: The Tournament of the Century" starring B.J. Blazkowics from id software's infamous game, "Return to Castle Wolfenstein". And sorry about the story's title- I had nothing else to think of. If any of you have any suggestions to rename the story's title, send 'em on in. I just might forget about my stupid title and change it to one of yours! Who knows... Anyways, here's Chapter 2. Enjoy!

-- Brent

Postal 2 is property of Running With Scissors, Return to Castle Wolfenstein is property of id Software, Inc. And Halo is property of both Bungie and Microsoft (Don't want to get sued by ol' Bill!)

Chapter 2

From Nazis to More Black Circles

Castle Wolfenstein, Northern German Mountains, 1943

B.J. jumped out into the open, his finger pushing the trigger on his Thompson. The Nazi personnel had barely any time to turn around and yank out their Luger's. In 30 seconds time, all except for B.J. were down.
"Stupid Nazis..." he said to himself.
Reloading his weapon, B.J. glanced around the room. "This is a new addition," he said. "Must've put this in shortly after I left."
The last time Agent Blazkowics was in Castle Wolfenstein was a year ago. He was assigned "Operation Resurrection", an operation that involved Nazis, the Occult, and bio-chemical technology. B.J. himself had to destroy Heinrich, an Occult-risen megalomaniac from 943 A.D. But the O.S.A., short for the Office of Secret Actions, saw to it that Agent Blazkowics completed his mission, destroying Heinrich and putting an end to Deathshead, the mad Nazi scientist who was responsible for creating the "Oober Soldat", German for "Super Soldier". The Super Soldier was part machine, part human. But in the end, Blazkowics put an end to Deathshead operation and the book was closed on "Operation Resurrection".
"All of you! Hans! In here!"
B.J. looked up from reloading his Thompson. Apparently, his little shooting run was kind of loud. Six Nazis stood at a doorway, all carrying MP40's.
"Son of a..." began B.J.
"KILL THE AMERICANA!" shouted a Nazi.
B.J. started firing his Thompson, and knocked took down one Nazi. He then jumped to his right to the wall again. Quickly yanking out a grenade, he pulled the pin and threw it out into the open.
"Look out! Grenade!"
An explosion echoed throughout the entire room. B.J. uncovered his ears and stuck his head cautiously out in the open. Dead bodies were lying on the floor, with a hole right in the middle. And, suddenly out of nowhere, a statue of a medieval knight fell to the ground with a crash, scattering metal pieces everywhere. Not a pretty sight for the queasy.
And, to complicate the matters, a little black circle was forming in the doorway where the Nazis ran in. It kept getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger.
Agent Blazkowics' eyes just got bigger. This circle was getting bigger. It was almost as unreal as "Operation Resurrection".
"I must be dreaming..." B.J. said to himself.
Soon that dream, now a nightmare, had turned to reality. A small gust of wind whooshed past B.J. from behind. Slowly, but strongly, B.J. started to float to the circle. But the speed increased, and it kept doing so.
"HEEYAAH!" B.J. screamed.
By now, half of his body was sucked into the black circle. He fought against the current of the wind to pull himself out. But then, things went from bad to worse. The top of the black circle began to shut. And it was shutting fast.
For the first time in his life, Agent Blazkowics had given up. The means of escape had now become impossible. He let go of the circle, and was sucked into darkness. The circle had closed, and Castle Wolfenstein was now quiet. Messy, but quiet.

Covenant Battle cruiser, Outer Space, 2552

"Get ready Chief, they're coming!"
The Master Chief cocked his assault rifle, finger on the trigger, ready to open fire. The Covenant was charging right at him. Two doors leading into a hallway had been bordered up by chairs and by means of locking the doors.
"Cortana, what exactly is coming at us?"
"Covenant platoon. Highest ranking. Brace yourself, Chief- this'll be Hell."
The Master Chief raised the assault rifle up to his eyes, enabling point-blank range. This Covenant platoon was coming. Their pounding on the floor as they came running to the door sounded loud and nerve-racking.
"Here we go, Chief. They're here."
Pounding was heard at the doors. It got louder, and louder, and louder. And then the Master Chief saw something that caught his eye. The doors were beginning to give way.


Chapter 3

The Master Chief carefully keeps an eye on the doors. The Covenant platoon is about to burst in, and so is something else...


For those of you who are familiar with Halo and if you beat the game and how it ends, the Halo portion of my story takes place after the Master Chief flies away into space. He most likely stopped somewhere and was given a new mission, and the Halo part of my story is his new mission. The same for B.J. and Castle Wolfenstein- that portion of my story is the same as to Halo's. B.J. returned to the O.S.A. and he was given a new mission to go back to Wolfenstein. Just tryin' to make it all make sense!