halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Homeworlds VI'



MERCENARY
7:08 pm | October 13, 2003
That was a pretty good story, what I read of it Iwas short on time
MERCENARY
7:08 pm | October 13, 2003
I liked that story.(what I read of it anyway, I was kinda' short on time.)
MERCENARY
7:08 pm | October 13, 2003
I liked that story.(what I read of it anyway, I was kinda' short on time.)
Alpha Lance
4:01 pm | September 14, 2003
Nice keep it up.
Mainevent
10:03 am | September 10, 2003
Yea, I tried to paint the scene of a frantic large scale battle taking place, where the odds were not particularly stacked against anyone in particular. Just a lot of confusion, explosions, and more fog of war than should be alotted one battlefield.

Also, I don't make the Master Chief the main character, don't think I even have a main character, but I do give him a side story which in the end will be very intersting.
hornet34
1:39 am | September 10, 2003
Hmm, its quite disturbing that some of the best stories here get so little feedback. Well, I liked it. And I know I usually say don't use the Master Chief, but this story is done so well I have no reservations against him being included. I give you a ten on the gore scale. Ah, such good sickening entertainment, Keep it up, brotha.
Mainevent
1:21 am | September 10, 2003
The gunner and the guy just stayed outside the tunnel. We won't find out what happened to them until later in the story. He was just in their for a wee tat of fun.

And yes, mah intent was to start it off gory.

Thanks for the comments.
Mainevent
1:21 am | September 10, 2003
BTW,

WINDOWS 98 SUX!

My Word kept crashing, so I tried my best to rewrite what I had. I deleted some good stuff.
Wado
9:57 pm | September 9, 2003
If your intent was to start the story with lots of gore, you succeeded. Wow, quite disturbing images... I should say nice job, so I will... "nice job" and this is coming from a guy (me) who likes to put some gore into stories.

The story started off strong and ended in a good way, the only place I see that could have used improvement was about 3/4 into the story. It seemed like you did some editing and left out something that should have been there. For instance, there is that crazy gunner that shot at the lieutenant and then fell off of the vehicle. What happened to him, did he die, get knocked out, run away?

Keep up the writing. Take care.
Mainevent
8:42 pm | September 9, 2003
:'(

No one has any comments?


bungie.org