halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'A John Before Halo: Part 14'



J-117
3:33 am | October 29, 2003
this is part 14 man but thx. and in part 15, expect some little love between john and ghost. ^_^
Alpha Lance
2:12 am | October 29, 2003
First to post!

Alright, this kickass good, no, not good, great. You did good on the story, but you got to remember about the dialog. Start a new paragraph whn some new talks;

John raised his fist. Everyone stoped. "Theres a sniper tower, and the guy is facing us, dont move" John whipered. "How are we supposed to get by him then?" ask Alpha. "Wait, I will throw a rock to his right, and if he falls for it he will turn around, when he is facing away from us, Ghost will shoot him in the head, and since you have a laser ont heat revolver ghost, it shouldn't be a problem." said John. "Ready?" asked John. "Ready" said Ghost.

It is suppose to look like this,

John raised his fist. Everyone stoped. "Theres a sniper tower, and the guy is facing us, dont move" John whipered.

"How are we supposed to get by him then?" ask Alpha.

"Wait, I will throw a rock to his right, and if he falls for it he will turn around, when he is facing away from us, Ghost will shoot him in the head, and since you have a laser ont heat revolver ghost, it shouldn't be a problem." said John. "Ready?" asked John.

"Ready" said Ghost.

Okay, remember that, but i'm sure you ment to do that. Can't wait for part 14.

P.S. I'm suprise that them weapons aren't decaying by now. LoL


bungie.org
happy fourth of july!