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Comments for 'A John Before Halo: Part 10'



J-117
12:11 am | October 9, 2003
part 11 is out
Alpha Lance
10:06 pm | October 4, 2003
Poop is a spamer.
J-117
8:53 pm | October 4, 2003
m'kay then thx
Mainevent
5:58 pm | October 4, 2003
I don't give ratings.

So you basically pass or fail.

Pass: Believable mostly well written story.
J-117
4:03 pm | October 4, 2003
I pass, what do u mean by that mainevent? and poop what in god are u trying to say?
J-117
11:42 am | October 4, 2003
thx and sure ill try but 750 words in long g\\for me lol.
Mainevent
3:23 am | October 4, 2003
True, alright, you pass. Good job.
J-117
3:21 am | October 4, 2003
advanced humvees it was the only thing i could think of, cuz it is still to far back for the great ol hog to premiere.
Mainevent
1:46 am | October 4, 2003
Try to spellcheck, it's not that bad, but still noticeable.

Give a little more depth to your characters, and their history.

Otherwise, great story.


BTW: THey have Humvees in the future?
Yo Yo (Kaboose)
12:59 am | October 4, 2003
That was amazing...keep up the good work man...
Alpha Lance
7:59 pm | October 3, 2003
Oh yeah! Great story J man. I notice that I was in there, and also Rambo. Also, good character description, and honestly, I just can't wait to what would happen on the next one.

P.S. Make part 11 a really long part.


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