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Comments for 'Derailed Part 4'



mainevent
12:50 am | September 20, 2003
Sorry about that. My comp is a piece of .....*crosses fingers it doesn't crash* shit.
Mainevent
12:45 am | September 20, 2003
Comments in your review section.

lol

I got had 1 when I wrote that.......
Mainevent
12:45 am | September 20, 2003
Comments in your review section

when i wrote that I only had 1
Dispraiser
10:08 pm | September 19, 2003
15 what's?
Mainevent
7:24 pm | September 19, 2003
*takes out the chalk*

So that's one for me, and fifteen for Dispraiser.

Only a few more comments then I'm chillin with the big dogs.
Walker
12:47 am | September 19, 2003
What can one say?

Dispraiser, this was certainly in the top ten series on HBO. I'm assuming it's not over, because if it was that would make me very sad.

BHD settings are always good, but sometimes they get old... in fact, the setting you described was one I've been working out in my head for awhile. No matter. If you go through with that one, I'll either change the one I was thinking of a bit or go with the other story I've been planning out.
Before I can do that, however, I have to finish COTGB, and that might take awhile since Part 3 is still setting up the main plot.

Dang, I strayed from the main subject pretty fast, didn't I? Oh well. Once again, this was one of the top ten precisely because it reminded me of Black Hawk Down in some eerie way. This is the kind of writing we need to see more of on HBO, and I'd be plenty pleased to see you keep up with it. Good luck, Dispraiser. God be with you.

Semper Fi

-Walker
Dispraiser
12:03 am | September 19, 2003
*claps* God I love it when I screw up grammar...
Dispraiser
10:48 pm | September 18, 2003
Actually, that reminded me of something.... A while back I was working on the very basic bones of a story that soon fleshed out to be far too simple a fanfic to continue about a small town and a downed fighter pilot using the best (worst) of guerilla combat on a stranded group of Covenant. Unfortunatly, I had two candidates for Main character, and neitehr seemed especially promising. So I stopped the fanfic, but now that I finished up Stranded at Home, which only took a year ;), maybe I should write one up... Would be a la Black Hawk down type setup, it focuses on the whole struggle but especially a few characters. I'll need to think about it more...
Dispraiser
10:41 pm | September 18, 2003
Yeah, I generally work from a first person view becaus then my characters are more colorful, but in some of the more recent fanfics I have donet hings like that. I guess first person is more common or something.
hornet34
9:48 pm | September 18, 2003
Oh, I totally agree, and most of my stories aren't super-action packed but instead focus on plot, I was just merely pointing out what I saw and don't think Dispraiser should change
monitor101
9:45 pm | September 18, 2003
Well it actually it took me a while to learn that and in a kind of hard way.
monitor101
9:43 pm | September 18, 2003
Good job Dispraiser it is a very good story. You know hornet not everything has to be action. Sure you might want to have some here or there but not an action overload. Some of the greatest fics here had little action who cares. I learned that the hard way.
Wado
7:10 pm | September 18, 2003
I'm still working on you Dispraiser...LOL

One day I'm going to get you to write a story from 2nd and 3rd person view instead of 1st person view. You are almost there, in the train crash you switched to 3rd person when you described all the carnage and destruction that ensued -- these things the main character would not have known seeing how he was inside the train when all this happened.

;)
Dispraiser
6:50 pm | September 18, 2003
Wow, even Wado couldn't find much... I was planning on making this a simpler fanfic but I managed to pull together a few dynamic characters. Thanks for the comments.
hornet34
4:55 pm | September 18, 2003
I liked it. Not a lot of action, but the crash compensated for that. I saw just a few grammar errors, but thats natural for even the best writers. Keep it up.
Wado
4:51 pm | September 18, 2003
Yes, very good. Excellent.
Sergeant B
10:21 am | September 18, 2003
Great Dispraiser. One of your greats I think.
9.8/10


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