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Comments for 'Zenith: I The Rumor'



Helljumper
7:33 pm | June 23, 2004
Yes its good, just do wat Wiley said.

ODST
Nick Kang
12:07 pm | June 22, 2004
Yeah, the story had a few mistakes, but it was overall good. When you're at the fanfiction submission form, click on the button above the 'Author Name' bar to see the code.

NK
atrox
1:57 am | June 22, 2004
Thanks for your comment
343 Salty Beans
12:23 am | June 22, 2004
A few to many run-on sentences, and some missed punctuation. A couple grammar errors, too. Other than that, excellent job.

343SB
SeverianofUrth
8:47 pm | June 21, 2004
Nice story. Just try not to mix 1st and 3rd viewpoints together, it just makes it confusing. Unless you are a brillant writer, of course. Like Gene Wolfe.
atrox
5:44 pm | June 21, 2004
I think the story is a hybrid between first and third. And is there a list of the [brackets] like indent,bold,italics or is that all of them?
atrox
5:44 pm | June 21, 2004
I think the story is a hybrid between first and third. And is there a list of the [brackets] like indent,bold,italics or is that all of them?
Wiley
5:24 pm | June 21, 2004
Thanks for that NK, I now see the error of my ways...lol
Seņor El Robot-o
4:50 pm | June 21, 2004
Okay, I'm confused... is this supposed to be first or third-person? Also, show, don't tell. I'm afraid I don't know how to use "the code", so just cut and paste this link to see what I mean.
http://coolreading.com/tip1.htm
atrox
3:27 pm | June 21, 2004
Thank you for clearing that up for me, i'll do that in chapter2
Nick Kang
2:47 pm | June 21, 2004
Nice story!

Here's an example of what Wiley means.
BAD
"We need to hold off the enemy advance." The Master Chief said. "They're tryin' to flank us!" Yelled Private Jameson.
GOOD
"We need to hold off the enemy advance!" The Master Chief said.
"They're tryin to flank us!" Yelled Private Jameson.


Except everty time a new person speaks, it needs to be indented.

NK
atrox
12:36 pm | June 21, 2004
Wiley: Are you saying I should have a new paragraph everytime someone new speaks OR I should'nt have a new paragraph everytime a new person speaks.
atrox
12:03 pm | June 21, 2004
Thanks for your comments, more would be nice.
Wiley
9:56 am | June 21, 2004
New paragraph everytime a different person speaks. Other than that, good job

8/10
BansheeBoy
9:07 am | June 21, 2004
Well done on using the code on your first fan fic! I'm impressed. Pretty good story too, keep it up!


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