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Comments for 'Zanzibar-Chapter 2'



da blade
4:08 pm | July 7, 2004
i hate to break it to you, but grace died on the unyeilding heiroplant, or as sargeant johnson called it, the uneven elaphant. If u read first strike, then remeber when the burtes attacked? that was when grace was killed and the whole thing u cooked up bewteen grace and li? not bad, interesting twist, but the spartans have suprressed sex drive from the augmentation, so no nookie for li anyway!
MC's Cousin
1:19 pm | May 25, 2004
Nothing is wrong with the Grace thing. As long as you back it up, it's ok. But for your first few series, I would try to stick to the Halo story just to get your writing style and name as an author, better.

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MCC
343 Salty Beans
11:42 am | May 24, 2004
People keep complaining about that thing w/ Grace. I thought I would throw in a twist, but people don't like it too much. I guess I'll have to stick to the straight and narrow instead of heading for a different approach. Oops :)
Nick Kang
8:31 pm | May 23, 2004
Well, it's not the best, but not many n00bs come on nowadays that write 'fair' on their first stories. Most of the time it's 'poor' to 'fairly poor'. So, in layman's terms, it's a C+.

NK
MC's Cousin
8:08 pm | May 23, 2004
No, it is "fair" for your first. You need to keep practicing. As do all, but...

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MCC
343 Salty Beans
7:55 pm | May 23, 2004
Yeah, I know some of the facts are wrong, like jumping from the cliff face to the wheel (a LONG way on the demonstration at E3). But is it good for my first?
MC's Cousin
6:41 pm | May 23, 2004
A Spartan crying? Wanting to die? (well I could believe that). Well, it is interesting. Though it does sound off. Perhaps it is because it sounds...n00bish!
Just maybe...that could be it. You need to get a few more facts strait, but keep trying. Onward march!!!

Signing Off


MCC


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